Saturday, August 7, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Day 6 of Our Honeymoon
Derrick and I are now on day six of our 15 day Transatlantic Cruise. Our cruise started in Miami on April 26, 2010 and will travel to the following ports:
1) Ponta Delgada, Portugal
2) Lisbon, Portugal
3) Vigo, Spain
4) La Coruna, Spain
5) Le Havre (Paris), France
6) Zeebrugge (Brussels/Brugge), Belgium
7) Dover (London), Great Britain
When looking for a honeymoon Derrick and I discussed how we wanted to travel to Spain and France. I ended up stumbling on this cruise that happened to be a steal. During this cruise we could actually get the relaxation we needed and desired while traveling to some of our dream destinations together.
Since we have started the cruise we have had an unimaginable amount of fun and romance. This trip has been more than I even hoped for. We have been eating like royalty and talking to many interesting people. We also had a chance to play the Newlywed game. This has been something I always wanted to do on a cruise. In addition, I purchased a special honeymoon package to add to the romance. I really wanted to something special for us since you only honeymoon once. The package included Sparkling Wine and chocolate covered strawberries, a romantic dinner in Le Bistro that included a bottle of wine. (Derrick only had one glass and I had the rest. I didn’t realize it until after dinner…lol) Canapés delivered to our room, a cake and champagne party and a complimentary photograph. They have been very nice to us on the ship. We actually had 2 cakes given to us after letting the staff know we were on our honeymoon. It has been great and I am looking forward to spending my life with Mr. Derrick Douglass.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Awakening the Inner Athlete
What is an athlete ? Some might consider that you have to play big 10 sports, mountain climb or train for the Olympics to be an athlete but I believe there is much more to it. True athletes are kindred spirits. Something is buried deep inside of them that keeps them striving for excellence. A true athlete develops a skill over time with practice and they are determined to do their best. It takes discipline and hard work. The grace and skill that we see displayed by athletes is a process. It takes self control and focus and it truly is an art form. Just recently I examined my life and discovered that I am an athlete.
I think the thing I love about training is that it is a challenge. Not everyone can commit themselves to doing something even when their mind and body doesn't necessarily feel like it. Sticking to a consistent workout schedule has been difficult for me but after a good workout I always feel better. I have come to learn that not only is Physical Fitness a personal choice but it is a life long journey. Being fit is not something that happens over night and there is no easy way to be and stay fit. It takes dedication, hard work, focus, endurance and patience. We should strive to awaken our inner athlete. No matter how in shape or out of shape you are there is always room for improvement. Physical fitness is just as much mental as it is physical; One has to make up in thier mind what it is they want to achieve and not let outside forces detour them of the goal in mind no matter how difficult.
Not only does physical fitness benefit the body but it benefits your mind and spirit.When I am training my body it sets me free. All of the of the day to day worries seem to fade away and my mind is then elevated to a higher place that's devine. This feeling is why I am dedicated to ultimate self improvement. Along with this comes my involvement in physcial activities. I have an extreme love for physcial activites that has developed over the years. Sometimes it takes me a while to openly share this passion with others. My personal quest for fitness has been going on for years. I remember when I was a little girl and I used to do areobics with my mother. Back then it was "The 20 Minute Workout" I was determinded to get all the steps down. I also recall my ex-tomboy phase when I used to play football in the back field with my brothers. I had quite a set of hands.
I have experienced some set backs and challenges during my fitness but when I look from whence I've come it is a good feeling. I have come a long way. In 2001 I made a vow to myself to learn what self love really means and apply that to my life. With this came my dive into nutrition and a promise to myself to be the best I could be. I made a climb out of depression and since 2001 lost a total of 70 pounds. I havn't lost my desire to keep move forward.
It is silly to think that I fear telling people about my love for exercise because I am not in my ideal size and shape. (Well not yet but I am getting there) I sometimes fear they will look at me and see I am overweight might not believe that I have the ability to run 9 miles strait. Or, I am lying about my frequent attendance in spinning, step aerobics, yoga, Zumba and Ballroom Dance classes. I do love all of these activities so much that they are some of my greatest passions in life. I know I am better because of it so I am now determinded to share this with the world. After all why should I be ashamed when I have changed so many things for the better.
All throughout my life I have felt that it has been difficult to fit in with most individuals. (not that I strive to fit in with any and everyone) These were places such as school, work and sometimes even church. This bothered me for sometime until I learned that I shouldn't fit in with everyone. I am a person that wants continue to reach new hieghts and blow away mediocrity. So it is not that I don't fit anywhere in but yet I fit in with those that are like minded. When I think about the places I feel most comfortable what comes to mind is the Gym, dance class, Physical Therapy and the running trail. When I leave these places I feel like a better person. I know I am sharper, quicker and stronger than before. These are the moments of escape where I can let my gaurd down and just be me. I have had some of my best life expiences while working out. Most peopleeople in these places have the ability to give so much of themselves to help others reach thier personal best. In additon, these are places where bonds can be formed. I just think about the feeling I get when I am out on the trail and my feet get so heavy I feel like stopping before I reach my set distnace. Once I encounter the runner going in the opposite direction, we give each other the nod that helps us propel each other to the next mile marker.
I know that I train hard but I have been told my many I don't give myself enough credit. My Trainer says that I have heart and I train like an athlete. At first I couldn’t accept the comment or understand why he said that but as time went on and we continued to train I realized that I am an athlete. I love to take on a challenge and everyday I commit myself to be the best. As I train I can feel myself and see myself getting stronger. I work harder to see better results. I am committed to developing my athletic skills over time. Training hard helps me to improve the overall quality of my life. I am in a good place in life. Tomorrow I will be stronger than today. Going forward I will muster up the courage to strive for new heights and reach goals like never before. This is the reason for me running the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in December 2010. Not only will I accomplish an extraordinary thing but I will sharpen my mind, body and spirit. Not only will I be helping myself but I will be helping heroes struggling with illnesses. I will be helping people by providing the resources for them to move forward everyday despite the many obstacles and challenges. This is why I run. This is why I am. As my heroes motivate me allow me to motivate you. Please partner with me as I reach a new height in life. Please give what you can to help me and so many others reach new heights. Donate to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America. Let's commit to our personal best together and help find a cure for these diseases.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Just Do It
My Run 07/17/2010
It was indeed a wonderful day. It was a Saturday so I had a chance to sleep in. I even turned my phone off before bed on Friday evening to ensure no one would wake me up in the morning. Most of the day I relaxed and recovered from the previous week. With time moving before me so swiftly I started to wonder if I would get off the couch and do my miles for the day. Isn’t funny how we are the best at making excuses for something we don’t really want to do. I was rationalizing and convincing myself that lying down on the coach was the best thing for me to do that entire day. I must have had 1 millions reasons why I shouldn’t do my miles that evening. I mean after all if was already 7:00PM on a Saturday. I had already worked out 4 times that week including my 2 runs and it was extremely hot and muggy. It was my relaxing day. Just thinking about the pain, time and humidity that would be associated with a run that evening made me want to retreat under the covers. But it was not long until I heard a still small voice rise up inside of me and say “Getup! You made a commitment to yourself and others to run this race.” Right after this I thought about how many people go through serious bouts with things such as Cancer and Chrons disease but still have it in them to train and finish these races. I began thought if these people can overcome these major obstacles and still run I can get off my butt and hold fast to the commitment I made.
So instead of continuing to think about the run I just did it. (Like the Nike commercial.) I went to the track down the street and ran my 4 miles. It truly tested me. After running those 4 miles I truly felt as though I ran 4 miles in Atlanta in the middle of July (Insane Right??) It was tough but I did it. The satisfaction I felt was wonderful. I know that I have previously run greater distances but every run I complete has a greater sense of satisfaction that the last. I accomplished something great and the pride I felt drowned out the exhaustion and pain. I did it and I know I can do it. I have everything inside of me to make it. To Run is to Live!!!
It was indeed a wonderful day. It was a Saturday so I had a chance to sleep in. I even turned my phone off before bed on Friday evening to ensure no one would wake me up in the morning. Most of the day I relaxed and recovered from the previous week. With time moving before me so swiftly I started to wonder if I would get off the couch and do my miles for the day. Isn’t funny how we are the best at making excuses for something we don’t really want to do. I was rationalizing and convincing myself that lying down on the coach was the best thing for me to do that entire day. I must have had 1 millions reasons why I shouldn’t do my miles that evening. I mean after all if was already 7:00PM on a Saturday. I had already worked out 4 times that week including my 2 runs and it was extremely hot and muggy. It was my relaxing day. Just thinking about the pain, time and humidity that would be associated with a run that evening made me want to retreat under the covers. But it was not long until I heard a still small voice rise up inside of me and say “Getup! You made a commitment to yourself and others to run this race.” Right after this I thought about how many people go through serious bouts with things such as Cancer and Chrons disease but still have it in them to train and finish these races. I began thought if these people can overcome these major obstacles and still run I can get off my butt and hold fast to the commitment I made.
So instead of continuing to think about the run I just did it. (Like the Nike commercial.) I went to the track down the street and ran my 4 miles. It truly tested me. After running those 4 miles I truly felt as though I ran 4 miles in Atlanta in the middle of July (Insane Right??) It was tough but I did it. The satisfaction I felt was wonderful. I know that I have previously run greater distances but every run I complete has a greater sense of satisfaction that the last. I accomplished something great and the pride I felt drowned out the exhaustion and pain. I did it and I know I can do it. I have everything inside of me to make it. To Run is to Live!!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saying I Do
Today it is Saturday May 1, 2010. On Monday we arrive in Ponta Delgada, Portugal. This is our 6th day at Sea and I am very excited about our first port. Although I am excited about all of the ports we will visit I am ecstatic about visiting Paris France with my husband. I have visited there once before. I had a great time the first time but the entire time I was there I kept wondering what it would be like to visit that wonderful city with the man of my dreams. Now another one of my dreams is coming true. It is funny how a long time ago I used to think I had to reach a certain amount of goals before I got married. After getting to a certain place in my life I realized that when I met the right person that we could reach our goals and dreams together. That is how it has been since I have met Derrick.
From the very beginning of our courtship I knew that it was something very different about Derrick. I was very happy that he was interested in getting to know who I was on the inside. We made our intentions clear to each other right from the start. As time went on and we got to know each other better I discovered that we had many of the same interests. I didn’t want to let him know all of my interests but yet I wanted him to do some exploration on his part to find out who I really was. As time went on our relationship blossomed. We moved forward and I realized that we started to do many of the things I had always dreamed about. This was our special relationship. It has boundaries that no one could penetrate. This was a very special one. I trusted Derrick. I allowed him to see me in my most vulnerable states and he did the same. Some people ask me how I knew he was the one. Well there is no exact science but I can tell you what I felt. It is like the saying goes “It Doesn’t take all day to recognize Sunshine” and Derrick was indeed my sunshine. I trusted him with my heart. He was no doubt my friend. I made a list many years ago with all of the characteristics I needed in a lifelong mate. Over the years it was revised again and again. After it was complete (before meeting Derrick) I realized that Derrick met every characteristic on the list. I also could see that he had the love of God on the inside. I could clearly see that when we crossed paths we could accommodate where each other was going in life. This is how I knew and as each day passed it became more apparent. My cousin stated at our wedding reception there were 6 words that separated Derrick from all the rest. He said “When it was just any ole guy Yanice would say “what do you think of him” when it was Derrick Yanice said “I want you to meet him” and this is how he knew. These were wonderful words to hear.
So I believe you know when all of it is clear. God will make the signs clear. It is not rocket science but one must be true to themselves in this quest. Saying I do should not be out of selfish reasons. One should have done their part to prepare their minds, bodies and spirits to be married. It should be the ultimate act of selflessness. Marriage is truly a blessing and a splendid thing for those who are ready. So for those of you wanting to take the plunge prepare yourself. Do the work required before saying “I Do”
From the very beginning of our courtship I knew that it was something very different about Derrick. I was very happy that he was interested in getting to know who I was on the inside. We made our intentions clear to each other right from the start. As time went on and we got to know each other better I discovered that we had many of the same interests. I didn’t want to let him know all of my interests but yet I wanted him to do some exploration on his part to find out who I really was. As time went on our relationship blossomed. We moved forward and I realized that we started to do many of the things I had always dreamed about. This was our special relationship. It has boundaries that no one could penetrate. This was a very special one. I trusted Derrick. I allowed him to see me in my most vulnerable states and he did the same. Some people ask me how I knew he was the one. Well there is no exact science but I can tell you what I felt. It is like the saying goes “It Doesn’t take all day to recognize Sunshine” and Derrick was indeed my sunshine. I trusted him with my heart. He was no doubt my friend. I made a list many years ago with all of the characteristics I needed in a lifelong mate. Over the years it was revised again and again. After it was complete (before meeting Derrick) I realized that Derrick met every characteristic on the list. I also could see that he had the love of God on the inside. I could clearly see that when we crossed paths we could accommodate where each other was going in life. This is how I knew and as each day passed it became more apparent. My cousin stated at our wedding reception there were 6 words that separated Derrick from all the rest. He said “When it was just any ole guy Yanice would say “what do you think of him” when it was Derrick Yanice said “I want you to meet him” and this is how he knew. These were wonderful words to hear.
So I believe you know when all of it is clear. God will make the signs clear. It is not rocket science but one must be true to themselves in this quest. Saying I do should not be out of selfish reasons. One should have done their part to prepare their minds, bodies and spirits to be married. It should be the ultimate act of selflessness. Marriage is truly a blessing and a splendid thing for those who are ready. So for those of you wanting to take the plunge prepare yourself. Do the work required before saying “I Do”
Life is What we Make It
05/02/2010
Currently I am at a place in my life where I can say things are good. Looking back over the years I see so much growth and development. Some may call them struggles but I have come to realize that all of the experiences that I have had added a certain dimension to my life. It seems as though it has taken so much to get to this place but for that I am very grateful. I can truly say that I am happy. On a long time ago I set out on a journey to obtain certain things in my life. Through those times there were many ups and downs but through much perseverance and faith I have made it to a good place. I am so very glad that I did not give up on my dreams when things got tough. All of the past experiences have molded me into the woman that I am. I like to think I have a certain character that is unmatchable by another.
Currently I am at a place in my life where I can say things are good. Looking back over the years I see so much growth and development. Some may call them struggles but I have come to realize that all of the experiences that I have had added a certain dimension to my life. It seems as though it has taken so much to get to this place but for that I am very grateful. I can truly say that I am happy. On a long time ago I set out on a journey to obtain certain things in my life. Through those times there were many ups and downs but through much perseverance and faith I have made it to a good place. I am so very glad that I did not give up on my dreams when things got tough. All of the past experiences have molded me into the woman that I am. I like to think I have a certain character that is unmatchable by another.
Notes from the Trail
05/01/2010
Derrick and I are now on day six of our 15 day Transatlantic Cruise. Our cruise started in Miami on April 26, 2010 and will travel to the following ports:
1) Ponta Delgada, Portugal
2) Lisbon, Portugal
3) Vigo, Spain
4) La Coruna, Spain
5) Le Havre (Paris), France
6) Zeebrugge (Brussels/Brugge), Belgium
7) Dover (London), Great Britain
When looking for a honeymoon Derrick and I discussed how we wanted to travel to Spain and France. I ended up stumbling on this cruise that happened to be a steal. During this cruise we could actually get the relaxation we needed and desired while traveling to some of our dream destinations together.
Since we have started the cruise we have had an unimaginable amount of fun and romance. This trip has been more than I even hoped for. We have been eating like royalty and talking to many interesting people. We also had a chance to play the Newlywed game. This has been something I always wanted to do on a cruise. In addition, I purchased a special honeymoon package to add to the romance. I really wanted to something special for us since you only honeymoon once. The package included Sparkling Wine and chocolate covered strawberries, a romantic dinner in Le Bistro that included a bottle of wine. (Derrick only had one glass and I had the rest. I didn’t realize it until after dinner…lol) Canapés delivered to our room, a cake and champagne party and a complimentary photograph. They have been very nice to us on the ship. We actually had 2 cakes given to us after letting the staff know we were on our honeymoon. It has been great and I am looking forward to spending my life with Mr. Derrick Douglass.
Derrick and I are now on day six of our 15 day Transatlantic Cruise. Our cruise started in Miami on April 26, 2010 and will travel to the following ports:
1) Ponta Delgada, Portugal
2) Lisbon, Portugal
3) Vigo, Spain
4) La Coruna, Spain
5) Le Havre (Paris), France
6) Zeebrugge (Brussels/Brugge), Belgium
7) Dover (London), Great Britain
When looking for a honeymoon Derrick and I discussed how we wanted to travel to Spain and France. I ended up stumbling on this cruise that happened to be a steal. During this cruise we could actually get the relaxation we needed and desired while traveling to some of our dream destinations together.
Since we have started the cruise we have had an unimaginable amount of fun and romance. This trip has been more than I even hoped for. We have been eating like royalty and talking to many interesting people. We also had a chance to play the Newlywed game. This has been something I always wanted to do on a cruise. In addition, I purchased a special honeymoon package to add to the romance. I really wanted to something special for us since you only honeymoon once. The package included Sparkling Wine and chocolate covered strawberries, a romantic dinner in Le Bistro that included a bottle of wine. (Derrick only had one glass and I had the rest. I didn’t realize it until after dinner…lol) Canapés delivered to our room, a cake and champagne party and a complimentary photograph. They have been very nice to us on the ship. We actually had 2 cakes given to us after letting the staff know we were on our honeymoon. It has been great and I am looking forward to spending my life with Mr. Derrick Douglass.
Into Everyone's Life a Little Rain Must Fall
04/30/2010
On Saturday April 24, 2010 I officially tied the knot with Mr. Derrick Brian Douglass and became Mrs. Yanice Douglass. I must say looking back the time leading up to the wedding as well as the wedding day was a whirlwind. There was so much planning that I felt needed to be done. From the rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner to the ceremony it was a bunch of planning. Derrick and I even took Waltz lessons for our 1st dance at the wedding reception. It is so funny how things work out. I learned a very great and valuable lesson. No matter how much you plan things will not necessarily turn out the way you plan them. I mean I must have gone over the wedding day a million times in my mind and everything turned out totally different than what we planned.
To begin, we arranged to have our wedding ceremony in Whitfield Square inside the gazebo. We had the rehearsal there and it was sunny and bright and wouldn’t you know the day of the ceremony it rained. I couldn’t believe it. All of the planning and preparation could not control the weather. We even looked at the weather ahead of time and it wasn’t supposed to rain on the wedding day. So with all of this in mind I decided to once again put my faith in God. Although it was supposed to be my day I was concerned about my friends and family. It was very important to me that they were able to enjoy this day as well. This is where God stepped in. The entire ceremony was no longer under my control but in the end it all worked out. The wedding planner ended up calling in a favor at a previous employer and we were able to have the ceremony in the Beautiful River Street Inn. There were some planners at the Square informing our guests that the ceremony location had been moved. It was amazing to see how smoothly things went even though the location was changed in a moment’s notice. God work to beautifully orchestrate this wonderful and blessed event. It was absolutely beautiful and intimate just like we wanted. It was everything we could have hoped and prayed for.
Furthermore, Derrick and I spent weeks practicing waltz for our 1st dance. It was so funny when it actually came down to our first dance we were not able to properly bustle my dress and I wasn’t able to waltz in my dress. That still didn’t stop the show. We did a few elegant moves and ended the dance with my sweetheart twirling me into his arms. It all worked out.
Another thing was me wanting to get some photos outside. Since it did rain during the ceremony we were not able to get the formal pictures with the wedding party after the ceremony but once the reception was over Derrick and I were able to get some awesome shots in Ellis Square by the fountain. It was wonderful. Looking around you couldn’t even tell that it rained that day. The sky cleared up and it was absolutely beautiful. So I did learn a very valuable lesson. We can do all of the planning in the world and that will not change that fact that in everyone’s life a little rain must fall. With this being said we must know even when the rain is falling God is working on our behalf to make everything work out for those that love him. God is always working behind the scenes. He knows what is best for us and he knows how to make things more beautiful than we could ever imagine or planned for. He is God.
On Saturday April 24, 2010 I officially tied the knot with Mr. Derrick Brian Douglass and became Mrs. Yanice Douglass. I must say looking back the time leading up to the wedding as well as the wedding day was a whirlwind. There was so much planning that I felt needed to be done. From the rehearsal to the rehearsal dinner to the ceremony it was a bunch of planning. Derrick and I even took Waltz lessons for our 1st dance at the wedding reception. It is so funny how things work out. I learned a very great and valuable lesson. No matter how much you plan things will not necessarily turn out the way you plan them. I mean I must have gone over the wedding day a million times in my mind and everything turned out totally different than what we planned.
To begin, we arranged to have our wedding ceremony in Whitfield Square inside the gazebo. We had the rehearsal there and it was sunny and bright and wouldn’t you know the day of the ceremony it rained. I couldn’t believe it. All of the planning and preparation could not control the weather. We even looked at the weather ahead of time and it wasn’t supposed to rain on the wedding day. So with all of this in mind I decided to once again put my faith in God. Although it was supposed to be my day I was concerned about my friends and family. It was very important to me that they were able to enjoy this day as well. This is where God stepped in. The entire ceremony was no longer under my control but in the end it all worked out. The wedding planner ended up calling in a favor at a previous employer and we were able to have the ceremony in the Beautiful River Street Inn. There were some planners at the Square informing our guests that the ceremony location had been moved. It was amazing to see how smoothly things went even though the location was changed in a moment’s notice. God work to beautifully orchestrate this wonderful and blessed event. It was absolutely beautiful and intimate just like we wanted. It was everything we could have hoped and prayed for.
Furthermore, Derrick and I spent weeks practicing waltz for our 1st dance. It was so funny when it actually came down to our first dance we were not able to properly bustle my dress and I wasn’t able to waltz in my dress. That still didn’t stop the show. We did a few elegant moves and ended the dance with my sweetheart twirling me into his arms. It all worked out.
Another thing was me wanting to get some photos outside. Since it did rain during the ceremony we were not able to get the formal pictures with the wedding party after the ceremony but once the reception was over Derrick and I were able to get some awesome shots in Ellis Square by the fountain. It was wonderful. Looking around you couldn’t even tell that it rained that day. The sky cleared up and it was absolutely beautiful. So I did learn a very valuable lesson. We can do all of the planning in the world and that will not change that fact that in everyone’s life a little rain must fall. With this being said we must know even when the rain is falling God is working on our behalf to make everything work out for those that love him. God is always working behind the scenes. He knows what is best for us and he knows how to make things more beautiful than we could ever imagine or planned for. He is God.
Friday, March 19, 2010
5 Star Meals Served on a Garbage Can Lid
With service being one the 3 main purchasing points for consumers one would think that more emphasis would be on good customer service in the major corporations in North America. Despite the increasing rhetoric about valuing customers, customer satisfaction is actually declining in the U.S. Experts say that on average, U.S. companies manage to lose half their customers every five years. This could be attributed to higher customer expectations or increased choices for customers. Some suggest it could be due to the tight labor market, which has made it harder to find and retain the quality employees who can keep customers coming back (Hawk, 1999). In addition, complaints to the Better Business Bureau increased by 10% in the year 2009. Not only did the BBB receive over 1 million complaints from consumers last year but consumers turn to the non-profit sector more than 65 million times for help researching businesses in North America.
It is increasingly obvious that companies have continued to scale back in that are in hopes to cut cost and remain profitable. But isn't the customer always right? You would think so, but this has not been my experience. Recently my mother and I went shopping and had a horrible experience. On 03/10/2010 my mother and I shopped at Kroger at 1122 Powers Ferry Road Marietta Georgia. Unfortunately, the service was inadequate because my mother was discriminated against by a cashier named as well as a manger in the store. My mother always shops on Wednesday because she has been receiving the Senior Citizen Discount. We were disappointed because when she went to ask for her senior discount the cashier said that she didn't look like a senior. (Now keep in mind that my mother does not look like a senior but that does not give the cashier any right to say anything about her age.) In addition, she said she did not look old enough to receive the discount. She was told that the senior discount starts at age 60. My mother attempted to inform the cashier that she previously was told by Kroger staff that the Senior Discount was given at age 60. After my mother showed the Cashier her ID she again said “you don't look your age". I was infuriated by this comment. Instead of getting upset I figured I would address the issue later and not make a scene. I thought that it was very misleading for my mother to be allowed to get the senior discount for several months. She had no problem getting the discount before. Furthermore, I thought the remark that the cashier made was very unprofessional as well as discriminatory. I called the same store later that day to find out at what age can a person get the senior discount and the manager that I talked to told me 65. I informed her that was the 3rd different answer I received from a Kroger employee after asking that question. I believe that an employee is an extension of the company they work for therefore they should have a through understanding of the policies in place. Me calling the store resolved absolutely nothing. I filed a complaint to corporate on the 10 of March and still have yet to hear back from them. I gave them a date that I needed a response by as well as the action to be taken to resolve the issue. The deadline has passed and I still not heard from them, therefore I have now filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I have decided enough is enough. If we continue to let these things slide we will never get the type of service that we want and deserve as consumers.
When I think about my transactions in recent years I can honestly say that at least 60% of my experiences have been terribly underwhelming. As time passes I look for more out of the customer service industry but I find myself getting less. The only thing that seems to be increasing is the amount of advertising companies try to throw at problems. With consumers getting smarter you can see how the Marketing Messages are catering more to segments...but marketing is no cure for customer service. It is all in presentation. Great Marketing will never outweigh good customer service. This is one way to bring it home: imagine someone offered you a wonderful dinner of your choosing. Sky is the limit. For illustrative purposes let’s say you were offered a T bone steak, baked potato, salad and your favorite beverage to go with it. In addition, the person offering this dream meal said you could pick from the dessert of your choice. All of this would sound so wonderful until you see your fantasy meal brought to you on a garbage can lid. This is what happens with the marketing of a company's product or service is grand but the customer service is poor. When a company is hoping to achieve organic growth the last thing that should be cut back is the quality of customer service. It is much too expensive.
In conclusion, the last thing I want to happen while running a business is for an angry client/customer to tell 5 of their friends that tell 5 of their friends how lousy my product or service was. That is definitely not the type of Marketing I would want to receive for my company. The rule of any type of exposure being good exposure applies to Hollywood stars and not businesses. In an effort to maximize shareholder value I believe businesses have gotten away from the first and simplest rule of business "The Customer is Always Right" So what can be done to make sure that consumers are respected and the value of our purchasing power is not taken for granted? As consumers we first must realize the power that we hold and no longer accept what is less than exceptional. Let's start by taking a stand. Will anyone join me?
It is increasingly obvious that companies have continued to scale back in that are in hopes to cut cost and remain profitable. But isn't the customer always right? You would think so, but this has not been my experience. Recently my mother and I went shopping and had a horrible experience. On 03/10/2010 my mother and I shopped at Kroger at 1122 Powers Ferry Road Marietta Georgia. Unfortunately, the service was inadequate because my mother was discriminated against by a cashier named as well as a manger in the store. My mother always shops on Wednesday because she has been receiving the Senior Citizen Discount. We were disappointed because when she went to ask for her senior discount the cashier said that she didn't look like a senior. (Now keep in mind that my mother does not look like a senior but that does not give the cashier any right to say anything about her age.) In addition, she said she did not look old enough to receive the discount. She was told that the senior discount starts at age 60. My mother attempted to inform the cashier that she previously was told by Kroger staff that the Senior Discount was given at age 60. After my mother showed the Cashier her ID she again said “you don't look your age". I was infuriated by this comment. Instead of getting upset I figured I would address the issue later and not make a scene. I thought that it was very misleading for my mother to be allowed to get the senior discount for several months. She had no problem getting the discount before. Furthermore, I thought the remark that the cashier made was very unprofessional as well as discriminatory. I called the same store later that day to find out at what age can a person get the senior discount and the manager that I talked to told me 65. I informed her that was the 3rd different answer I received from a Kroger employee after asking that question. I believe that an employee is an extension of the company they work for therefore they should have a through understanding of the policies in place. Me calling the store resolved absolutely nothing. I filed a complaint to corporate on the 10 of March and still have yet to hear back from them. I gave them a date that I needed a response by as well as the action to be taken to resolve the issue. The deadline has passed and I still not heard from them, therefore I have now filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I have decided enough is enough. If we continue to let these things slide we will never get the type of service that we want and deserve as consumers.
When I think about my transactions in recent years I can honestly say that at least 60% of my experiences have been terribly underwhelming. As time passes I look for more out of the customer service industry but I find myself getting less. The only thing that seems to be increasing is the amount of advertising companies try to throw at problems. With consumers getting smarter you can see how the Marketing Messages are catering more to segments...but marketing is no cure for customer service. It is all in presentation. Great Marketing will never outweigh good customer service. This is one way to bring it home: imagine someone offered you a wonderful dinner of your choosing. Sky is the limit. For illustrative purposes let’s say you were offered a T bone steak, baked potato, salad and your favorite beverage to go with it. In addition, the person offering this dream meal said you could pick from the dessert of your choice. All of this would sound so wonderful until you see your fantasy meal brought to you on a garbage can lid. This is what happens with the marketing of a company's product or service is grand but the customer service is poor. When a company is hoping to achieve organic growth the last thing that should be cut back is the quality of customer service. It is much too expensive.
In conclusion, the last thing I want to happen while running a business is for an angry client/customer to tell 5 of their friends that tell 5 of their friends how lousy my product or service was. That is definitely not the type of Marketing I would want to receive for my company. The rule of any type of exposure being good exposure applies to Hollywood stars and not businesses. In an effort to maximize shareholder value I believe businesses have gotten away from the first and simplest rule of business "The Customer is Always Right" So what can be done to make sure that consumers are respected and the value of our purchasing power is not taken for granted? As consumers we first must realize the power that we hold and no longer accept what is less than exceptional. Let's start by taking a stand. Will anyone join me?
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Marriage Rules of the Road
If you're planning to get legally married, there is one thing you mustn't forget – the marriage license. A marriage license is sort of a permit, kind of like a driver's license. It says that you are legally allowed to marry, although obtaining one does not mean that you ARE married. My fiancé' and I obtained our Marriage License on March 23, 2010. This was a very joyful event for us. I believe this is the moment that makes it real for most couples. Up to this point the entire engagement and plans of the big days has left us in a somewhat surreal state. We walked up the clerk in the Probate Court of Cobb County, filled out a form for the license and paid $51.00 cash and that was it. I was thinking to myself "how easy was that...wow!" It was so easy I kind of started to wonder if there should be more required for such a huge commitment. It took us all of 10 minutes to obtain this license. The rules and requirements for obtaining a marriage license vary from state to state and from country to country but what my fiancé and did to obtain the Marriage License was a piece of cake. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not al all saying that we wanted to have a difficult time obtaining this Marriage License but I couldn’t help but to think about all the people that have obtained these permits under false pretenses. In a perfect world everyone would do everything in their power to ensure their partner is not already currently involved with another or indeed are who they say they are but looking at different occurrences we can see that this isn't always true. How many times have you heard about the bigamist who married again or the person that changed their name and was living a double life without their spouse knowing it? I am aware that a marriage does not have as many social ramifications as do a person that is driving on the road but ultimately a marriage gone sour can impact more that the two people that have entered into that covenant.
So allow me to entertain you with an idea. What if people were required to take a test similar to a driving test? For example, to obtain a drivers license in the United States one must be able to operate a vehicle safely and properly, understand all traffic signs and know the rules of the road. In addition, to get a driver's license, you must pass a written test, a sign test, a vision test, and a road test. There are also special regulations for people younger that 18 called graduated licensing regulations. So what if we were required to complete a course before marriage titled “What Every Married Person Must Know”. This could be a class that equates to pre-marital counseling. This would be a very helpful tool. Getting married without some sort of pre-marital prep is like entering a business or any other important venture without preparing. Some couples do not realize that that good, skill-based pre-marriage counseling or classes can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage, according to marriage research. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period. Just a little effort now can make your odds a whole lot better over the long run. You want to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and a great life are realized. (http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/premarital_counseling.asp, pg.1, 2010) Like anything in life to be successful Marriage takes much planning, endurance, dedication, discipline and time. Having a successful marriage requires more than planning the wedding day.
In conclusion, the idea of adding “rules of the road” tests before a marriage certificate is not a perfect one but before marriage is entered detailed planning and preparation should take place. If there were more requirements for marriage maybe this would this cause more couples to think thoroughly about their unions as well as make detailed preparations not only for the wedding day for the marriage as a whole. During an engagement it should be the goal of the couple to grasp a better understanding of who their partners are. It’s true this cannot be done over night but is but maybe that is a good thing. Before a couple takes a walk down the isle they should study the true definition of Marriage study the “rules of the road, take a vision test, and understand all traffic signs.” Before taking on the commitment of marriage we should willingly take the journey to discover what is the safest and most effective means to our destinations. Although challenges will arise it is up to us to ensure we meet the requirements to safely transport the hearts of our significant others.
So allow me to entertain you with an idea. What if people were required to take a test similar to a driving test? For example, to obtain a drivers license in the United States one must be able to operate a vehicle safely and properly, understand all traffic signs and know the rules of the road. In addition, to get a driver's license, you must pass a written test, a sign test, a vision test, and a road test. There are also special regulations for people younger that 18 called graduated licensing regulations. So what if we were required to complete a course before marriage titled “What Every Married Person Must Know”. This could be a class that equates to pre-marital counseling. This would be a very helpful tool. Getting married without some sort of pre-marital prep is like entering a business or any other important venture without preparing. Some couples do not realize that that good, skill-based pre-marriage counseling or classes can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent and lead to a significantly happier marriage, according to marriage research. It can also reduce the stress of the pre-wedding period. Just a little effort now can make your odds a whole lot better over the long run. You want to do everything you can to ensure that your dreams of a great marriage and a great life are realized. (http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/premarital_counseling.asp, pg.1, 2010) Like anything in life to be successful Marriage takes much planning, endurance, dedication, discipline and time. Having a successful marriage requires more than planning the wedding day.
In conclusion, the idea of adding “rules of the road” tests before a marriage certificate is not a perfect one but before marriage is entered detailed planning and preparation should take place. If there were more requirements for marriage maybe this would this cause more couples to think thoroughly about their unions as well as make detailed preparations not only for the wedding day for the marriage as a whole. During an engagement it should be the goal of the couple to grasp a better understanding of who their partners are. It’s true this cannot be done over night but is but maybe that is a good thing. Before a couple takes a walk down the isle they should study the true definition of Marriage study the “rules of the road, take a vision test, and understand all traffic signs.” Before taking on the commitment of marriage we should willingly take the journey to discover what is the safest and most effective means to our destinations. Although challenges will arise it is up to us to ensure we meet the requirements to safely transport the hearts of our significant others.
Monday, February 22, 2010
To Post or Not to Post
It's no secret that we live in a connected society. With the new found convenience of Facebook, MySpace and Twitter we can stay in touch with those we haven’t connected with in years. These days it is difficult to find someone that doesn't belong to a social network. Social Networks have their advantages and disadvantages. Recently I have had the opportunity to re-connect with friends and family that I have not spoken to in years. In addition, I have been able to share some of my writings with many people and receive feedback that helps get me closer to my goals with the passing of each day.
The advantages of social networks are endless but with the good come the bad. With the increasing popularity of social networking sites a new level of job-related risk factors are on the table. There is now a fine line between being sociable and recognizing the chance that your employer or potential employer can access your personal thoughts, and moments of wild frivolity. As time passes and the comfort level of posting events from our lives increases be it at work or at home, we should ask our selves the question “When is enough enough?” It is wonderful to be able to express our opinions and share information with those in our networks but we must be very careful in doing so. If we do not exercise caution before posting certain events online the very medium that we use to vent and express ourselves can be the very thing that harms our reputation and kills our career.
Being cautious means watching what types of images we post as well as watching what types of information we post about our co-workers, employees/companies. More than ever before we must know when to have that line dividing our lives. We have to be conscience of what we post know where to divide our personal and professional lives.
Moreover, we should begin asking ourselves "If a past, present or potential employer were to see this information would it be harmful to my career?" Potential employers looking to fill positions frequently do internet searches to find out what type of person they have on their hands. By looking at people’s internet profiles they feel as though that are getting a candid view of a candidate without having to see through the smokescreen of a well polished interview. In addition, there are company policies that prohibit employees from making certain comments or discussing work related information on public sites. The information that we post can remain online and be referenced in the future whether we remove it or not.
Social Media can be a smoking gun. It is up to us to decide if we want it to work in our favor or work against us. There are great advantages living in a World of social media if we don’t allow Social Networks to be a pitfall. We must continually exercise caution. The virtual space may seem imaginary because we cannot stand in it or experience it on a tangible level, but it is very real and can lead us to our demise if we allow it. Everything is not meant to be shared with others.
The advantages of social networks are endless but with the good come the bad. With the increasing popularity of social networking sites a new level of job-related risk factors are on the table. There is now a fine line between being sociable and recognizing the chance that your employer or potential employer can access your personal thoughts, and moments of wild frivolity. As time passes and the comfort level of posting events from our lives increases be it at work or at home, we should ask our selves the question “When is enough enough?” It is wonderful to be able to express our opinions and share information with those in our networks but we must be very careful in doing so. If we do not exercise caution before posting certain events online the very medium that we use to vent and express ourselves can be the very thing that harms our reputation and kills our career.
Being cautious means watching what types of images we post as well as watching what types of information we post about our co-workers, employees/companies. More than ever before we must know when to have that line dividing our lives. We have to be conscience of what we post know where to divide our personal and professional lives.
Moreover, we should begin asking ourselves "If a past, present or potential employer were to see this information would it be harmful to my career?" Potential employers looking to fill positions frequently do internet searches to find out what type of person they have on their hands. By looking at people’s internet profiles they feel as though that are getting a candid view of a candidate without having to see through the smokescreen of a well polished interview. In addition, there are company policies that prohibit employees from making certain comments or discussing work related information on public sites. The information that we post can remain online and be referenced in the future whether we remove it or not.
Social Media can be a smoking gun. It is up to us to decide if we want it to work in our favor or work against us. There are great advantages living in a World of social media if we don’t allow Social Networks to be a pitfall. We must continually exercise caution. The virtual space may seem imaginary because we cannot stand in it or experience it on a tangible level, but it is very real and can lead us to our demise if we allow it. Everything is not meant to be shared with others.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Ups and Downs of Wedding Planning
A few weeks ago me and my bethrothed planned our Engagement Party. Much to our dismay we had alot more people RSVP attending then actually showed up. At the time I was very upset. Out of emotion I ended up writing a Blog on my Wedding Website about how I felt in that moment. The Blog expressed my fustration as well as my disappointment. I figured if I posted this entry on my wedding website my family, friends and aquantainces that didn't bother to show could see how angry I was and how thier behavoir affected me. At the time I was very hurt because I felt as though people's failure to RSVP was a reflection on how they felt about me. I have always believe that actions speak louder than words and the actions of the people that didn't show hurt me. I believe I felt this way because I realize how important it is to inform the host of you intentions if you plan on attending or not.
Moreover, although I have moved on from that time I did think I it was important to write about my reaction to people's failure to RSVP. I didn't realize how harsh my reaction was until I was told by 3 people very close to me. I have been told a thousand times how stressful wedding planning could be but I didn't actually feel strss until that moment hit me. Here is the letter I wrote below: (Please be advised that I realize the harness of this letter but in my defense I turned into Bridezilla at the time.....lol)
Repondez, S’il Vouz Plait
In today’s society there seems to be a constant stream of inconsideration. I am normally a very optimistic person. I am the type that sees the good in life first. With that being said you are probably wondering what caused me to write such a subject. Well allow me to tall you about a recent experience that I have encounter far too many times for me not to address it.
On December 19th, 2009 I had the opportunity to celebrate my engagement to my fiancé Derrick with an engagement party. The event was wonderful and intimate. I felt very thankful that some of my closest friends and acquaintances found the time to celebrate such a wonderful milestone with my fiancé and me. Although it was a wonderful and blessed event I found my spirit a bit troubled by the RSVP factor. Originally when I invited people to this event I felt as though these were some of the people that were closest to me. Over 35 said they would be in attendance and only 13 people showed up. I guess this is what people mean when they say you will find out who your real friends are when you plan a wedding. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure that things come up and people have legitimate reasons for not attending but what happened to common courtesy.
Today it seems as society is growing numb to the feelings of others. It was not that I didn’t have a lovely time. Indeed I did. Nothing was taken away by there being a smaller number but there was time, effort and, money involved planning for people who failed to show up. These are resources that we cannot get back and most people don’t even take the time to think about how their actions affect people.
It is about more than an RSVP. It is about considering others. I guess people don’t think about the big picture. This is not some high school party but an engagement party that. What stick out in my mind the most is that you think enough of people to invite them to a special event but they don’t think enough of you to even say that they will not be able to attend a party. A simple text message, email or phone call to inform the host of your intentions can go a very long way.
After this event I am seriously considering re-vamping the guest list. There are some invitations that I planned on sending out that I know I will not as a result of this. Why even waste a stamp on people that don’t even think enough of you to inform you of their intentions. The thing that hurts the most is when you invite family to these events and they don’t even acknowledge you or apologize for the wasted time, money and hurt feelings. I guess the ones closest to you will hurt you as well. I guess as though it would seem impolite if I were to retract some wedding invitations but it is also very impolite to respond yes to someone and then leave them hanging.
I truly wish that some people would take a course on etiquette. Some might say why you are so upset when you had a nice party? It is simply the principle. This has happened too many times and has caused me to re-evaluate those whom I communicate with on a frequent basis. “RSVP” clearly means to reply one way or the other. It does not mean reply if you feel like it or only if you are coming.
Furthermore, one should Respond in the manner that the host suggests. If a phone number is given, you may call. If a postal address is on the invitation, your reply is expected in writing. If an e-mail address is listed, head for your computer. Once you have replied, do what you said you would do. If you said you would be there, go. If you responded that you couldn’t attend, don’t decide at the last minute to go. If something comes up to prevent you from attending, let your host know as soon as possible. If you can’t do so before the event, contact the host first thing the next day to explain your absence and to apologize.
The whole purpose for “RSVP” is so the host can plan the food and venue for the right number of guests. When people fail to reply to invitations, those planning the event are at a distinct disadvantage. There is always the risk that there will be too much or not enough food. In addition, there could be money and time that are wasted planning for the inappropriate number of guests. The rule for responding to any invitation is to reply immediately, say what you will do and do what you say. Next time you may be the one planning an event and you won’t want to be left in the dark, waiting to see who shows up.
Looking back at this I do see why my loved ones said it would be in my best interest to take the blog down. I was told by my cousin that the letter "cut like salt". Even though I was hurt at the time I shouldn't have lashed out to hurt others as a result. When I put this up the first time I did so in anger. I have learned alot from my past and should know by now when we act in anger there is not a lot of good that can come from that. What I should have done is talk to the the ones closest to me and let them know exactly how I felt about them not showing up and how thier actions affected my finace and I. As far as the people I wern't as close to that didn't bother to show up, I should have went with my gut instinct and never invited them in the first place...lol. But seriously even though this is a very big day I have to move forward and forgive people for what has happened. I am not going to continue to be bitter and angry. To do so would only be hurting myself. I will not allow anger to control me. I am looking to the positive things. Only 65 days to go until I am Mrs. Derrick Douglass. I am going to focus on that. Life if good! I am not going to become Bridezilla...lol. I am going to try my best not to sin by allowing anger to control me.
Ephesians 4:26-32
26 And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you."* Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry,27 for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. 28 If you are a thief, stop stealing. Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you
Moreover, although I have moved on from that time I did think I it was important to write about my reaction to people's failure to RSVP. I didn't realize how harsh my reaction was until I was told by 3 people very close to me. I have been told a thousand times how stressful wedding planning could be but I didn't actually feel strss until that moment hit me. Here is the letter I wrote below: (Please be advised that I realize the harness of this letter but in my defense I turned into Bridezilla at the time.....lol)
Repondez, S’il Vouz Plait
In today’s society there seems to be a constant stream of inconsideration. I am normally a very optimistic person. I am the type that sees the good in life first. With that being said you are probably wondering what caused me to write such a subject. Well allow me to tall you about a recent experience that I have encounter far too many times for me not to address it.
On December 19th, 2009 I had the opportunity to celebrate my engagement to my fiancé Derrick with an engagement party. The event was wonderful and intimate. I felt very thankful that some of my closest friends and acquaintances found the time to celebrate such a wonderful milestone with my fiancé and me. Although it was a wonderful and blessed event I found my spirit a bit troubled by the RSVP factor. Originally when I invited people to this event I felt as though these were some of the people that were closest to me. Over 35 said they would be in attendance and only 13 people showed up. I guess this is what people mean when they say you will find out who your real friends are when you plan a wedding. Now don’t get me wrong I am sure that things come up and people have legitimate reasons for not attending but what happened to common courtesy.
Today it seems as society is growing numb to the feelings of others. It was not that I didn’t have a lovely time. Indeed I did. Nothing was taken away by there being a smaller number but there was time, effort and, money involved planning for people who failed to show up. These are resources that we cannot get back and most people don’t even take the time to think about how their actions affect people.
It is about more than an RSVP. It is about considering others. I guess people don’t think about the big picture. This is not some high school party but an engagement party that. What stick out in my mind the most is that you think enough of people to invite them to a special event but they don’t think enough of you to even say that they will not be able to attend a party. A simple text message, email or phone call to inform the host of your intentions can go a very long way.
After this event I am seriously considering re-vamping the guest list. There are some invitations that I planned on sending out that I know I will not as a result of this. Why even waste a stamp on people that don’t even think enough of you to inform you of their intentions. The thing that hurts the most is when you invite family to these events and they don’t even acknowledge you or apologize for the wasted time, money and hurt feelings. I guess the ones closest to you will hurt you as well. I guess as though it would seem impolite if I were to retract some wedding invitations but it is also very impolite to respond yes to someone and then leave them hanging.
I truly wish that some people would take a course on etiquette. Some might say why you are so upset when you had a nice party? It is simply the principle. This has happened too many times and has caused me to re-evaluate those whom I communicate with on a frequent basis. “RSVP” clearly means to reply one way or the other. It does not mean reply if you feel like it or only if you are coming.
Furthermore, one should Respond in the manner that the host suggests. If a phone number is given, you may call. If a postal address is on the invitation, your reply is expected in writing. If an e-mail address is listed, head for your computer. Once you have replied, do what you said you would do. If you said you would be there, go. If you responded that you couldn’t attend, don’t decide at the last minute to go. If something comes up to prevent you from attending, let your host know as soon as possible. If you can’t do so before the event, contact the host first thing the next day to explain your absence and to apologize.
The whole purpose for “RSVP” is so the host can plan the food and venue for the right number of guests. When people fail to reply to invitations, those planning the event are at a distinct disadvantage. There is always the risk that there will be too much or not enough food. In addition, there could be money and time that are wasted planning for the inappropriate number of guests. The rule for responding to any invitation is to reply immediately, say what you will do and do what you say. Next time you may be the one planning an event and you won’t want to be left in the dark, waiting to see who shows up.
Looking back at this I do see why my loved ones said it would be in my best interest to take the blog down. I was told by my cousin that the letter "cut like salt". Even though I was hurt at the time I shouldn't have lashed out to hurt others as a result. When I put this up the first time I did so in anger. I have learned alot from my past and should know by now when we act in anger there is not a lot of good that can come from that. What I should have done is talk to the the ones closest to me and let them know exactly how I felt about them not showing up and how thier actions affected my finace and I. As far as the people I wern't as close to that didn't bother to show up, I should have went with my gut instinct and never invited them in the first place...lol. But seriously even though this is a very big day I have to move forward and forgive people for what has happened. I am not going to continue to be bitter and angry. To do so would only be hurting myself. I will not allow anger to control me. I am looking to the positive things. Only 65 days to go until I am Mrs. Derrick Douglass. I am going to focus on that. Life if good! I am not going to become Bridezilla...lol. I am going to try my best not to sin by allowing anger to control me.
Ephesians 4:26-32
26 And "don't sin by letting anger gain control over you."* Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry,27 for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil. 28 If you are a thief, stop stealing. Begin using your hands for honest work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. 30 And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you
Thursday, February 4, 2010
The Joys Of life
As the time for my wedding approaches I get more excited with the passing of each moment. This is a major event that can be stressful at times but it is more than worth. As stress tries to overwhelm me at times I do my best to make sure I don’t lose focus on the bigger picture. I don’t want to get so caught up on who failed to RSVP that I ignore what is truly transpiring. Yesterday I started to think of how wonderful it will be to catch up with people that I haven’t seen in years. I feel so honored and blessed that the people whom I love and care for so deeply are going out of their way to support me on this joyous occasion.
I will get a chance to share my love and re-kindle relationships from years ago. I am very happy to have the support of my loved ones. There are a million other things that people could be doing on April 24th, 2010 but my beloved friends and family have chosen to spend this wonderful day with me and my betrothed. Life is good and I am in love. These are truly the moments that make life worth living.
I will get a chance to share my love and re-kindle relationships from years ago. I am very happy to have the support of my loved ones. There are a million other things that people could be doing on April 24th, 2010 but my beloved friends and family have chosen to spend this wonderful day with me and my betrothed. Life is good and I am in love. These are truly the moments that make life worth living.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Planting My Feet
Recently I graduated with my MBA. My time as a graduate student was extremely difficult. Although I did enjoy many experiences throughout my matriculation all of the moving around caused me to feel a bit unsettled. I frequently moved around because it was required if I wanted to progress in my career. I did move to obtain internships as well as my first job after the program was completed.
As I moved around there were times as though I felt I didn't truly have a home. I knew I had worked very hard while in school to purchase a home but I moved around so much that I had barley lived in the home I worked for. So how many times did I move? I will describe the moves and dates.
1) I moved from Lansing Michigan to Atlanta Georgia in June 2005 to start the MBA program in hopes to progress in my career.
2) In June 2006 I moved from Atlanta Georgia to Silver Spring Maryland to work a summer internship at Verizon
3) In September 2006 I stayed in Barcelona Spain for 3 months for a study abroad program to help me gain a competitive edge and help me to be a well rounded individual.
4) In December 2006 I returned to the United States after the Study Abroad program
5) In May 2007 I returned to Maryland for a 2nd Internship with Verizon Communications.
6) In August 2007 I moved back to Georgia. This is when I purchased my new home. I moved back from Silver Spring Maryland to Lithia Springs Georgia then after closing on my new home I moved to Marietta Georgia.
7) In August 2008 I moved from Marietta, Georgia to Ocala Florida for my new position with AT&T.
8) In June 2009 I moved from Ocala Florida back to Marietta, Georgia.
Phew......it gets me tired just thinking about all of the times that I have relocated. 8 moves in fewer than 4 years. It was a lot of work and at times was very exhausting but it was all worth it. Now my life feels that much richer since I have had these wonderful experiences. While I was going through some of these times the experiences weren't always pleasant but they did benefit me in the long run. I am happy that I had a vision and I was able to stay on the track to meeting my goals.
Currently I reside in Marietta, Georgia although I have not yet met all of my goals I am truly happy for my many blessings. The first time in a very long time I feel settled. Things are going well. I feel as though I have a home. My heart lies here. I feel as though I am part of a community. As I go from place to place it feels great to know that I am part of something intimate and exclusive. It might be church, the allergist, or the gym. It feels great when people call me by my name and realize that I am more than just a face in the crowd. They have committed me to memory and they actually care about me as a person. Through this experience of being part of a community I have actually been able to share my dreams and goals with people that are a big part of the goals that I have set previously.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish ...." (Proverbs 29:18a).
As I moved around there were times as though I felt I didn't truly have a home. I knew I had worked very hard while in school to purchase a home but I moved around so much that I had barley lived in the home I worked for. So how many times did I move? I will describe the moves and dates.
1) I moved from Lansing Michigan to Atlanta Georgia in June 2005 to start the MBA program in hopes to progress in my career.
2) In June 2006 I moved from Atlanta Georgia to Silver Spring Maryland to work a summer internship at Verizon
3) In September 2006 I stayed in Barcelona Spain for 3 months for a study abroad program to help me gain a competitive edge and help me to be a well rounded individual.
4) In December 2006 I returned to the United States after the Study Abroad program
5) In May 2007 I returned to Maryland for a 2nd Internship with Verizon Communications.
6) In August 2007 I moved back to Georgia. This is when I purchased my new home. I moved back from Silver Spring Maryland to Lithia Springs Georgia then after closing on my new home I moved to Marietta Georgia.
7) In August 2008 I moved from Marietta, Georgia to Ocala Florida for my new position with AT&T.
8) In June 2009 I moved from Ocala Florida back to Marietta, Georgia.
Phew......it gets me tired just thinking about all of the times that I have relocated. 8 moves in fewer than 4 years. It was a lot of work and at times was very exhausting but it was all worth it. Now my life feels that much richer since I have had these wonderful experiences. While I was going through some of these times the experiences weren't always pleasant but they did benefit me in the long run. I am happy that I had a vision and I was able to stay on the track to meeting my goals.
Currently I reside in Marietta, Georgia although I have not yet met all of my goals I am truly happy for my many blessings. The first time in a very long time I feel settled. Things are going well. I feel as though I have a home. My heart lies here. I feel as though I am part of a community. As I go from place to place it feels great to know that I am part of something intimate and exclusive. It might be church, the allergist, or the gym. It feels great when people call me by my name and realize that I am more than just a face in the crowd. They have committed me to memory and they actually care about me as a person. Through this experience of being part of a community I have actually been able to share my dreams and goals with people that are a big part of the goals that I have set previously.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish ...." (Proverbs 29:18a).
Friday, January 22, 2010
The Act of Forgiving
Have you ever reached out to someone to patch up an old relationship from the past and didn't get the desired outcome? This is something that we all have dealt with one time or another. We might be the person reaching out or the one on the other end. Just recently I decided to reach out to an old friend. It had been several years since we talked and I wanted to take the first step and reach out to her. Although it was very difficult I felt as though it was something that needed to be done for my sake.
After thinking back on how the friendship ended I thought that it would be mutually beneficial for us to talk. After 13 years of friendship I thought we might have something there that was salvageable. I know at times I can be a very stubborn person but this time I felt differently. We fell apart in 2006 and the thought of reaching out to her did not cross my mind until 2009. I had a dream that her mother came to me as an angel. In the dream her mother was sick. She told me how her daughter and I were the same age. She also asked me to reach out to her. In the dream she was dying and this seemed to be her last request. Me being the spiritual person I am took that as a sign. I thought that God wanted me to make the 1st move and reach out to her. After all I felt as though I was evolving to a new place in my life and I needed to bring some closure to some unresolved issues in the past. Here is the letter that I wrote her in hopes of re-kindling a friendship:
Hello Xxxxxxx
I hope you are doing well. I know this comes as a shocker receiving communication from me after all these years. I am going to be honest and say I had no idea I was going to reach out to you. I had a dream last night that caused me to re-evaluate some things in my life. Your mother came to me in my dream. It was like she was an angel of God or something. As I had that dream something spoke to my heart and told me to reach out to you. This is something that I could not ignore.
Life goes by so fast it causes one to say “what happened?” As time goes by you realize life is too short to hold on to something when you don’t even know what it is you’re holding on to. I did reach out to your mother earlier today. I had been thinking about her for months. I am not sure what kept me from calling her before but this time I was not going to let the feeling past again.
I know that it has been an extremely long time since we have talked so I know it might be difficult to even begin to know how to respond. I do understand and respect that. No matter what happens I am glad that I decided to contact you. I know that we cannot have the same type of friendship but maybe that is a good thing since we both have grown. I was wondering if we were to talk again if it would be like we don’t know each other anymore. I am not sure what will happen but I am more than willing to give it a try if you are.
Again, I know so many things have changed and we have passed many milestones but that is why I reached out to you. I am very happy I reached out to you. I really do hope you write back. I couldn’t quite remember why we weren’t talking but as I looked in my sent messages in yahoo I remembered. I was going to say that there was no need for us to say sorry or apologize but then I saw what I put in the email I sent you. Please accept my apology. I was upset and at the time about many different things (all which didn’t include you) and I took it out on the wrong people. I want to apologize for that and for any other time I might have done something to you that was on the up and up.
I think some relationships can evolve, revolve and stand the test of time. We had some great times in the past for sure. I know we cannot live in the past but I would like to extend my hand, move forward and try to a new friendship with you. Things have changed and I am a better person now. The last I knew you were a good person with a good heart. I know we had our differences but that shouldn’t matter. I don’t want to allow stubbornness to stand in the way of something wonderful. I do miss you and hope to hear from you.
I know it might be a long shot and we haven’t talked in many years but I would like to invite you to my wedding. I am getting married in April and it would be an honor to have you present. I have passed many milestones in my life and I would like you to be a part of this one. You still hold a special place in my heart and I don’t want to ignore that part of me. I remember us dreaming about all the things we were going to do when we grew up. Now that we are in those very special parts of our lives I am hoping we could share our dreams. I love you from the bottom of my heart wish you all of the happiness in the world. I still want to be your friend and I hope you feel the same.
Love Always
Yanice Y. Carter
I poured out my heart to my old friend. There were many things that had changed about me. I just knew after pouring out my heart that I would eventually get a response. I checked my email day after day in hopes that I would receive a response. I sent a message on Facebook. In addition I sent a letter by mail, as well as an e-card and a hard card via snail mail. Days and weeks went by and I heard nothing from her. I did get very upset because she never even responded. I thought at least she could respond saying that she didn't want to be friends anymore for whatever reason. I talked about it with several people and it helped a bit. I couldn't quite understand why she didn't respond. I went over the letter again and again wondering if I left something out. As time went on I thought about it less. Although I knew that I did something to be the bigger person the issue was heavy on my heart. Then one day while I was in Church I heard a message that brought it all home. The minister talked about the noble act of forgiving. He talked about the incredible healing that takes place after an act of forgiveness occurs. He also talked about how you remain attached to someone if you do not move on from the past. Furthermore, he explained when we hold a grudge we think that we are getting back at the other person and in fact the one that we hurt the most when we do not forgive are ourselves.
After hearing this message at church I realized that God did in fact want me to forgive this person for what happened no matter who was at fault. Maybe my old friend thought she was getting back at me by not responding but that no longer mattered. I realized that it wasn’t about her reaction. This experience was about me. I was able to experience how choosing to forgive someone elevates the burden even if you choose not to continue with the relationship. This shows that we choose to be free from the past and choose not to be the victim. Forgiveness is more for ourselves and it also serves as a symbol that we are ready to let go of the pain.
Although we did not end up being friends I am happy that I reached out to my old friend. I know that I am a better person because of this experience. I am in a place in life where I can say I have moved on. I do wish things could have turned out differently but now I know that God wanted me to do this for my benefit. This act of forgiveness displayed tremendous heart and maturity on my part. I was truly ready and able to move on to the next chapter of my life because I let go of the past. I got rid of the excess baggage in my heart and was once again ready to let in a newness of life. No more living in the past I continue to push forward to new heights.
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
-Ephesians 4:32
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes
After thinking back on how the friendship ended I thought that it would be mutually beneficial for us to talk. After 13 years of friendship I thought we might have something there that was salvageable. I know at times I can be a very stubborn person but this time I felt differently. We fell apart in 2006 and the thought of reaching out to her did not cross my mind until 2009. I had a dream that her mother came to me as an angel. In the dream her mother was sick. She told me how her daughter and I were the same age. She also asked me to reach out to her. In the dream she was dying and this seemed to be her last request. Me being the spiritual person I am took that as a sign. I thought that God wanted me to make the 1st move and reach out to her. After all I felt as though I was evolving to a new place in my life and I needed to bring some closure to some unresolved issues in the past. Here is the letter that I wrote her in hopes of re-kindling a friendship:
Hello Xxxxxxx
I hope you are doing well. I know this comes as a shocker receiving communication from me after all these years. I am going to be honest and say I had no idea I was going to reach out to you. I had a dream last night that caused me to re-evaluate some things in my life. Your mother came to me in my dream. It was like she was an angel of God or something. As I had that dream something spoke to my heart and told me to reach out to you. This is something that I could not ignore.
Life goes by so fast it causes one to say “what happened?” As time goes by you realize life is too short to hold on to something when you don’t even know what it is you’re holding on to. I did reach out to your mother earlier today. I had been thinking about her for months. I am not sure what kept me from calling her before but this time I was not going to let the feeling past again.
I know that it has been an extremely long time since we have talked so I know it might be difficult to even begin to know how to respond. I do understand and respect that. No matter what happens I am glad that I decided to contact you. I know that we cannot have the same type of friendship but maybe that is a good thing since we both have grown. I was wondering if we were to talk again if it would be like we don’t know each other anymore. I am not sure what will happen but I am more than willing to give it a try if you are.
Again, I know so many things have changed and we have passed many milestones but that is why I reached out to you. I am very happy I reached out to you. I really do hope you write back. I couldn’t quite remember why we weren’t talking but as I looked in my sent messages in yahoo I remembered. I was going to say that there was no need for us to say sorry or apologize but then I saw what I put in the email I sent you. Please accept my apology. I was upset and at the time about many different things (all which didn’t include you) and I took it out on the wrong people. I want to apologize for that and for any other time I might have done something to you that was on the up and up.
I think some relationships can evolve, revolve and stand the test of time. We had some great times in the past for sure. I know we cannot live in the past but I would like to extend my hand, move forward and try to a new friendship with you. Things have changed and I am a better person now. The last I knew you were a good person with a good heart. I know we had our differences but that shouldn’t matter. I don’t want to allow stubbornness to stand in the way of something wonderful. I do miss you and hope to hear from you.
I know it might be a long shot and we haven’t talked in many years but I would like to invite you to my wedding. I am getting married in April and it would be an honor to have you present. I have passed many milestones in my life and I would like you to be a part of this one. You still hold a special place in my heart and I don’t want to ignore that part of me. I remember us dreaming about all the things we were going to do when we grew up. Now that we are in those very special parts of our lives I am hoping we could share our dreams. I love you from the bottom of my heart wish you all of the happiness in the world. I still want to be your friend and I hope you feel the same.
Love Always
Yanice Y. Carter
I poured out my heart to my old friend. There were many things that had changed about me. I just knew after pouring out my heart that I would eventually get a response. I checked my email day after day in hopes that I would receive a response. I sent a message on Facebook. In addition I sent a letter by mail, as well as an e-card and a hard card via snail mail. Days and weeks went by and I heard nothing from her. I did get very upset because she never even responded. I thought at least she could respond saying that she didn't want to be friends anymore for whatever reason. I talked about it with several people and it helped a bit. I couldn't quite understand why she didn't respond. I went over the letter again and again wondering if I left something out. As time went on I thought about it less. Although I knew that I did something to be the bigger person the issue was heavy on my heart. Then one day while I was in Church I heard a message that brought it all home. The minister talked about the noble act of forgiving. He talked about the incredible healing that takes place after an act of forgiveness occurs. He also talked about how you remain attached to someone if you do not move on from the past. Furthermore, he explained when we hold a grudge we think that we are getting back at the other person and in fact the one that we hurt the most when we do not forgive are ourselves.
After hearing this message at church I realized that God did in fact want me to forgive this person for what happened no matter who was at fault. Maybe my old friend thought she was getting back at me by not responding but that no longer mattered. I realized that it wasn’t about her reaction. This experience was about me. I was able to experience how choosing to forgive someone elevates the burden even if you choose not to continue with the relationship. This shows that we choose to be free from the past and choose not to be the victim. Forgiveness is more for ourselves and it also serves as a symbol that we are ready to let go of the pain.
Although we did not end up being friends I am happy that I reached out to my old friend. I know that I am a better person because of this experience. I am in a place in life where I can say I have moved on. I do wish things could have turned out differently but now I know that God wanted me to do this for my benefit. This act of forgiveness displayed tremendous heart and maturity on my part. I was truly ready and able to move on to the next chapter of my life because I let go of the past. I got rid of the excess baggage in my heart and was once again ready to let in a newness of life. No more living in the past I continue to push forward to new heights.
"Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."
-Ephesians 4:32
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes
Choosing a Wedding Song
Choosing the song that you and your loved one will dance to may seem like an easy task but if you are trying to describe an exquisite love like no other it may take some time. How can one sum up the love of their life in a few minutes? Well patience will lead you to the prefect song. The first song that came to mind was "Love Devine" by Seal. Now that thought this was a great choice for the both of us because I love the song and so does Derrick. In addition, Seal is one of Derrick's favorite artists. We both agree and said let's choose this one.
Later that day after discussing the wedding with some co-workers one of them said how much they liked "Every Time I Close My Eyes" By Babyface. When my co-worker mentioned that song bells went off. I remembered how much I loved that song and how it does describe our love. It was perfect.
Some days passed and I started to think about the type of dance I wanted us to dance during our first song. I was thinking "Waltz All the Way" I knew that a "Southern Charm Wedding" such as ours would be perfect with a Waltz during the first dance. I later contacted my dance instructor and told her I think it was a Waltz and she said "If it is a contemporary song most likely it would be a Rumba or Fox Trot" Now don't get me wrong, I love those dances but at that moment I knew I needed to choose a Waltz song. So afterwards I googled "Waltz Songs" I saw some interesting selections. I'm Born Again, Three Time a Lady. Good songs but not quite it. I then remembered one of the movies I love "Take the Lead" In the movie there was a scene at the end where a couple danced a Waltz to "Fascination" by Nat King Cole. It was perfect. That was the song I would choose. It was sultry, elegant, and magical. It described our story simply and beautifully. Fascination became love.
So what is facination?
Fascination is the single most powerful means of persuading and influencing behavior.
Anything can become fascinating, anything at all, if it activates one of the seven triggers. Once you identify which triggers to activate, your ideas become more fascinating. So does your company’s brand, your conversations with your team, and your relationship with your spouse.
More importantly, YOU can become more fascinating, too.
No matter who you are, no matter what your personality, you’re already fascinating. Fascination comes from your own natural traits and abilities. You can become more fascinating, and in fact, if you’re interested in influencing anyone from your clients to your children, you must.
We all compete to be heard and remembered. Brands compete for loyalty. Employees compete for recognition. Parents compete against SpongeBob Squarepants for their child’s attention.
When you fascinate someone, they cease to think of anything else. You’ve connected with them in a profound and personal way. That is why this is the perfect song for us.
Later that day after discussing the wedding with some co-workers one of them said how much they liked "Every Time I Close My Eyes" By Babyface. When my co-worker mentioned that song bells went off. I remembered how much I loved that song and how it does describe our love. It was perfect.
Some days passed and I started to think about the type of dance I wanted us to dance during our first song. I was thinking "Waltz All the Way" I knew that a "Southern Charm Wedding" such as ours would be perfect with a Waltz during the first dance. I later contacted my dance instructor and told her I think it was a Waltz and she said "If it is a contemporary song most likely it would be a Rumba or Fox Trot" Now don't get me wrong, I love those dances but at that moment I knew I needed to choose a Waltz song. So afterwards I googled "Waltz Songs" I saw some interesting selections. I'm Born Again, Three Time a Lady. Good songs but not quite it. I then remembered one of the movies I love "Take the Lead" In the movie there was a scene at the end where a couple danced a Waltz to "Fascination" by Nat King Cole. It was perfect. That was the song I would choose. It was sultry, elegant, and magical. It described our story simply and beautifully. Fascination became love.
So what is facination?
Fascination is the single most powerful means of persuading and influencing behavior.
Anything can become fascinating, anything at all, if it activates one of the seven triggers. Once you identify which triggers to activate, your ideas become more fascinating. So does your company’s brand, your conversations with your team, and your relationship with your spouse.
More importantly, YOU can become more fascinating, too.
No matter who you are, no matter what your personality, you’re already fascinating. Fascination comes from your own natural traits and abilities. You can become more fascinating, and in fact, if you’re interested in influencing anyone from your clients to your children, you must.
We all compete to be heard and remembered. Brands compete for loyalty. Employees compete for recognition. Parents compete against SpongeBob Squarepants for their child’s attention.
When you fascinate someone, they cease to think of anything else. You’ve connected with them in a profound and personal way. That is why this is the perfect song for us.