Monday, November 16, 2009
Sunday, August 2, 2009
When to Trust and When to Walk Away
Life can be so challenging at times. I am not saying that as if I am owed anything or as if I expect it to be easy but when I say that I mean life can be a series of knowing “when to say when” so to speak. Allow me to elaborate further. With all of the uncertainty and disappointments that come about in life knowing when to trust can be an uncertain thing.
Most of us during our childhood years face the world blindly with no idea of all the setbacks and disappointments that will be encountered in the years to come. In those years it also seems friends are much easier to come by as well as trust for individuals.
The older we get and the more we grow the more difficult it is to put trust into anything. I am at a point in my life where I so greatly desire to share the hidden parts of myself but I often fear uncovering those parts. When I feel as though I have crossed paths with someone who wants to inquire and find out what exactly makes me Yanice. I try and wait for the right moment to proceed. I guess I struggle with knowing when the right moment is.
Over the years I have become increasingly reserved but at the same time I have a deeper longing to share myself. I believe in this world today this is something that many of us deal with therefore, that just makes me human. We all have fears, insecurities and doubt but the beautiful thing is identifying them and knowing that it is possible to work through them and continue to move forward.
Most of us during our childhood years face the world blindly with no idea of all the setbacks and disappointments that will be encountered in the years to come. In those years it also seems friends are much easier to come by as well as trust for individuals.
The older we get and the more we grow the more difficult it is to put trust into anything. I am at a point in my life where I so greatly desire to share the hidden parts of myself but I often fear uncovering those parts. When I feel as though I have crossed paths with someone who wants to inquire and find out what exactly makes me Yanice. I try and wait for the right moment to proceed. I guess I struggle with knowing when the right moment is.
Over the years I have become increasingly reserved but at the same time I have a deeper longing to share myself. I believe in this world today this is something that many of us deal with therefore, that just makes me human. We all have fears, insecurities and doubt but the beautiful thing is identifying them and knowing that it is possible to work through them and continue to move forward.
Crucifying the Old Man
I am at a point in my life where I feel very pleased with myself. Another great thing I often thing about is when I prayed a long time ago and asked that God make His desires my desires. As a result of this prayer I know that He is pleased with me as well. When I take a look back I realized just how far God has brought me. My prayers are so tremendously different than my prayers of yesteryear. I just feel like the things that I ask for now are much different. When I think back I realize how many of the things I prayed for in the past were out of selfishness. Don’t get me wrong I said my share of prayers for the growth and well-being of others but know I can honestly pray for God’s will in my life because I know it is the best for me. I can pray for things knowing that the result or outcome will not always be what I hoped and planned for. I can pray for others and their best interest even though I might not receive what I desired out of the situation. I consider those types of prayers unselfish.
When a person gets to a point where they can pray these types of prayers life seems to blossom. When your heart is changed to do God’s will and please Him the things that please you ultimately changes. We must learn that when we give unselfishly and strive to be in His will God will give us what we desire because with a changed heart our desires are what God desires for us.
Matthew6:33:33But seek ([a] aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([b] His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [c] taken together will be given you.
When a person gets to a point where they can pray these types of prayers life seems to blossom. When your heart is changed to do God’s will and please Him the things that please you ultimately changes. We must learn that when we give unselfishly and strive to be in His will God will give us what we desire because with a changed heart our desires are what God desires for us.
Matthew6:33:33But seek ([a] aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness ([b] His way of doing and being right), and then all these things [c] taken together will be given you.
Watching the Hour Glass
Currently I am at a time in my life where I am dealing with many uncertainties. I am sure throughout life this is something we all go through at one time or another. When we encounter moments as such I believe these are the times that God’s desires for us to sit still. You might wonder what I mean by that. Well allow me to explain. It is naturally human nature for us to try and force or manipulate things to happen when we feel as though things are not working according to out time and plan. What must be remembered is that God knows what is best for us. It is not about is being right or wrong it is about having enough faith to sit still and allow God to do his work in our lives.
God has a great plan for our lives and it does not always fall in line of our ideas of what we think should happen. God want the glory out of these situations therefore we must sit back and be confidant that the safest and most comforting place for us, is in his will. Sitting still can be extremely difficult and take tremendous amounts of patience. Just when we think that nothing is happening God is steadily working things out on our behalf. Just because we do not see it with our natural eyes does not mean great things are not in the works. These are the times when we simply must take our hands off the well and allow God to do the driving. We cannot do it alone, this we must know, remember and engrave on our hearts.
Allow quiet times to serve as a reminder that God is the one in control and calling the shots. We have to allow this fruit of the spirit called patience to manifest in our lives. Everything will be fine. Be confidant in knowing that God’s plan is better than we could ever know, imagine, or expect.
James1:4But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.
God has a great plan for our lives and it does not always fall in line of our ideas of what we think should happen. God want the glory out of these situations therefore we must sit back and be confidant that the safest and most comforting place for us, is in his will. Sitting still can be extremely difficult and take tremendous amounts of patience. Just when we think that nothing is happening God is steadily working things out on our behalf. Just because we do not see it with our natural eyes does not mean great things are not in the works. These are the times when we simply must take our hands off the well and allow God to do the driving. We cannot do it alone, this we must know, remember and engrave on our hearts.
Allow quiet times to serve as a reminder that God is the one in control and calling the shots. We have to allow this fruit of the spirit called patience to manifest in our lives. Everything will be fine. Be confidant in knowing that God’s plan is better than we could ever know, imagine, or expect.
James1:4But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.
You Can't Handle the Truth
It's funny how many people say that they want honesty. The more I live life, the more I come to realize that people would rather have you put a little sugar on it. In other words, people would rather have you lie. I don't understand that. Why say you want an honest person when in reality you want someone to compromise their own beliefs values to temporarily salvage your feelings. What do I mean you might ask? Well, let me tell you what I am talking about. If you read my last blog entry than you must know about my last date. Well I thought I would do us both a favor and be honest about my feelings toward him. Well, to make a long story short I let him know about my feelings for him................. They are non-existent. He called me today and I decided to answer. I wanted to be honest and tell him how I really felt instead of doing the classic phone avoidance thing. I know that is the easy way out. I felt that even this guy deserves to have some sort of brief explanation. In his dating profile he even states how he wants the truth. See look read it for yourself below:
"The personality that makes me unique is I only deal with the truth, many people cannot handle the truth, and for those that cannot, they need to grow up! The keys to a lasting relationship are being able to tell, handle, and deal with the truth!
See after reading that in his profile I just knew I he would respect me telling "The Truth". But anyways, after he calls he starts by saying "HI"! And I just sit there thinking, "Why doesn't he announce who he is"? I guess he thinks our 3 hours together was so wonderful that I already have his voice inscribed in my memory for life........NOT! Then he asks, "What are you doing"? I dryly reply by saying "Nothing" Then he asks me "what do you want to do"? I again say "Nothing". And he says, "ok, would you like some company"? I say "no". Then I decide to be honest with the guy. I believe I at least owe him that. So I let him know that I did not see this going anywhere romantically. Then he says "what? I cannot hear you" So I repeat myself and re-enforce what I said before by letting him know that I don't have any romantic feelings for him. So what do you know? He decides to just hang up in my face. How rude. I didn’t even have a chance to say we can be friends. Then I realized that is not what he wanted anyways. It's funny. He is the one who said he wanted honesty, than hangs up in my face when I give it to him. I guess he would have rather been out on several dates and prolonged it. Meanwhile I am getting in deeper and deeper and trying to figure out how to end this thing that I never wanted from the beginning. So I guess sometimes you cannot win. But you know I felt a heck of a lot better telling the truth. I guess that in itself is a win for me. I know I was true to what I really want and believe. I just figured, “Why do that to him and myself”? I felt good knowing that I did not have to pretend to have feelings for him. I always have felt that people should build a firm foundation as friends before becoming lovers anyways. I guess society has gotten so many people twisted in their thinking these days. Maybe the true definition of truth has changed over the years. HMMMMMM… Maybe I should check to make sure. What is the meaning of truth these days? Well Webster's Dictionary defines truth as:
1. Conformity to fact or actuality.
2. A statement proven to be or accepted as true.
3. Sincerity; integrity.
4. Fidelity to an original or standard.
5. Reality; actuality.
6. Often Truth that which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence.
Nope. The definition hasn’t changed. The truth is the truth!! Truth. Well I know there are different ways to get a point across when telling the truth far as tactfulness and discretion. Timing can play a factor as well. But the sad reality is no matter how it's served up, fried, baked, steamed or grilled; some people cannot handle the truth. So what is the point that I am trying to get across? Just take it from the Man Above
"Jesus said "...you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32
Today, Tomorrow and Forever AMEN!!!
"The personality that makes me unique is I only deal with the truth, many people cannot handle the truth, and for those that cannot, they need to grow up! The keys to a lasting relationship are being able to tell, handle, and deal with the truth!
See after reading that in his profile I just knew I he would respect me telling "The Truth". But anyways, after he calls he starts by saying "HI"! And I just sit there thinking, "Why doesn't he announce who he is"? I guess he thinks our 3 hours together was so wonderful that I already have his voice inscribed in my memory for life........NOT! Then he asks, "What are you doing"? I dryly reply by saying "Nothing" Then he asks me "what do you want to do"? I again say "Nothing". And he says, "ok, would you like some company"? I say "no". Then I decide to be honest with the guy. I believe I at least owe him that. So I let him know that I did not see this going anywhere romantically. Then he says "what? I cannot hear you" So I repeat myself and re-enforce what I said before by letting him know that I don't have any romantic feelings for him. So what do you know? He decides to just hang up in my face. How rude. I didn’t even have a chance to say we can be friends. Then I realized that is not what he wanted anyways. It's funny. He is the one who said he wanted honesty, than hangs up in my face when I give it to him. I guess he would have rather been out on several dates and prolonged it. Meanwhile I am getting in deeper and deeper and trying to figure out how to end this thing that I never wanted from the beginning. So I guess sometimes you cannot win. But you know I felt a heck of a lot better telling the truth. I guess that in itself is a win for me. I know I was true to what I really want and believe. I just figured, “Why do that to him and myself”? I felt good knowing that I did not have to pretend to have feelings for him. I always have felt that people should build a firm foundation as friends before becoming lovers anyways. I guess society has gotten so many people twisted in their thinking these days. Maybe the true definition of truth has changed over the years. HMMMMMM… Maybe I should check to make sure. What is the meaning of truth these days? Well Webster's Dictionary defines truth as:
1. Conformity to fact or actuality.
2. A statement proven to be or accepted as true.
3. Sincerity; integrity.
4. Fidelity to an original or standard.
5. Reality; actuality.
6. Often Truth that which is considered to be the supreme reality and to have the ultimate meaning and value of existence.
Nope. The definition hasn’t changed. The truth is the truth!! Truth. Well I know there are different ways to get a point across when telling the truth far as tactfulness and discretion. Timing can play a factor as well. But the sad reality is no matter how it's served up, fried, baked, steamed or grilled; some people cannot handle the truth. So what is the point that I am trying to get across? Just take it from the Man Above
"Jesus said "...you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32
Today, Tomorrow and Forever AMEN!!!
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Day...uh I Mean Minutes
Phew! Well, where should I start? I went on my first date since I have been in the DC area. It was kind of weird. I am going to be honest though. I tried my hand on an Internet date. (BIG MISTAKE!) I should have known not to go when he starts out by telling me “I am at work now and I left my check at home but I do have 50 dollars and a full tank of gas”. (Hmmmmm…now come on!) Who tells their date that kind of stuff, and who leaves their check at home? Not to mention in this day and age of direct deposit how many people actually get a check? But anyways, I met him in a public place. I asked my girl to go with me but she had plans. Why does it seem that every male that I meet from a dating site seem to have a severe emotional problem? But anyway, when I first saw him from a distance I thought, "he's very attractive", then he smiled. (My Gosh!!) His teeth were looking crazy. Is that shallow? I wonder if I am just looking for something to be wrong with these guys? We ended up going to the movies first and I was kind of happy about that because I didn't have to talk much. He wanted to hold my hand from jump and thought that was a bit too much. I can sense that he has been searching very hard to find someone. He almost seemed somewhat desperate. I didn't like that. Well, we walked towards the theater and he just grabs my hand. Mistake #1. Give me a chance to decide if I even want to hold your hand. Then after we get in the movies he walks right past the concession stand as if it does not exist! Mistake #2. (I always get Nachos when I go to the movies!!!) He didn't ask me if I wanted something until we reach the door of where our movie was playing. By then it was too late. I was already pissed. So were sitting in the movies and I swear I smell smoke on his breath. I kindly ask him if he smokes cigarettes and he says no. Mistake #3. I am an ex-smoker. Therefore I know when I smell smoke on someone's breath. So he obviously lied on his profile and in my face. I mean at least if he was honest about it I might consider seeing him again. (Well.... maybe not) After asking that question my proceeded by saying I cannot date a smoker because I used to smoke and quit 1 year ago. I don't want to risk starting again. So he grabs my hand and asks me what I was thinking. So I kindly tell him "That I don't want to hold hands". I hope that wasn't too harsh. I didn't want to hold his hand. I didn't know him like that. As I sat there I started to wonder if I was coming off as a cold and emotionless woman. I knew the answer to that was yes. I am so detached now. I guess I credit it to my field of study. I have been groomed to put up a huge wall. The MBA program has made me into a different species. I am bold upfront, and at times cutthroat. (HMMMM). But anyways, I managed to get through the movie and even decide to give him a second chance and make some conversation. We talk about our dreams, goals, and singleness. Then I notice he manages to keep bringing up women from the past. It was so annoying. Then he asks me if I would be willing to give up going to Spain for a man. I quickly answer NO"! Then he has the nerve to tell me "that’s why I am still single" I quickly let him know; I am single because I choose to be. I have not met the right person I refuse to give up something I worked so hard for. I also let him know if the right person were to come along. It would fall into place. The man for me is going to encourage my growth and not ask me to give up my dreams. If I feel he was worth it, of course I would sacrifice and compromise, but that person has not come along. I hate the way he said well black woman that think like me make plans and see themselves single as they reach their goals and that is why we look up, and before we know it we are 50 and still single. I just feel like this, why should I change my hopes, dreams and goals for a man just for it not to work out. I have done things like that before and ended up disappointed. I am not going to have that happen again. I am realistic. I do not want to resent the man I end up with because I didn't live my life and gave up my dreams. I think when the right person comes along we can build and accomplish things together. It is not about giving up dreams but it is about sharing them, reaching then and building a life together. So I will continue to seek God's will for my life. I believe God knows what I truly want and need. And when I get the one he sent me I won't have those recurring thoughts in my head saying "Dang, am I supposed to feel this way? How do I get rid of him? Should I see a sign? Why do I feel weird? Should I take off while he is in the bathroom? It will feel right. One day I know it will feel right.
The Definition of Disposable Income
I am going to keep this one brief. (Well I am going to try) This is one I have to get off my chest. After I post this blog I am going to try my hardest not to bring this up again. So an associate's car gets towed in front of my apartment. (I will leave this person nameless because this was trifling) I felt bad that she got her car towed in front of my apartment. So after it gets towed she goes on and on about how she doesn’t have any money. I am thinking to myself "Didn't we just get paid yesterday". So anyway, since she is throwing a fit about how she has no money for the week we split the tow fee 3 ways. (Her, her friend and I) The total came to $41.00 each. I felt bad so I figured the least I could do was help her out if she didn't have the money for the fee. But before lending the money did I tell her that I needed it back as soon as possible. I lent the money even though another person had just burned me. (Another person I lent money decided to pay me back with a check and closed the account out of spite. You can probably imagine my checking account after that childish, vindictive act, but that is an entire different blog) so I drive her to pick up her car from the tow yard. I thought everything would be ok afterwards. I mean it was only $40.00 so she shouldn’t have a problem giving me back the money. (I should have known better)
The next day she comes over and tells me how she got her feet done after she picked up her car! I was furious. I mean how can a person take your bread and butter than turn around and get their feet done? Look here, not only did she get her feet done but turns around and tells me about it. (Somebody please explain this type of thought process) What a lack of respect! What a lack of common sense! I mean the nerve of people. So I proceeded in asking her, “Why in the world did you get your feet done if you are crying broke?” She looks at me dumbfounded and responds by saying Girl I needed that. I just believe at times no matter how tight money is I need to treat myself" NEED-NEED. I guess some people definitions of need are pretty twisted. And as far as treating herself that is fine but as long as she don’t do it with other people’s money. (But I guess it was my fault for even letting her have a dime of my money) So I muster up the patience not to go off. (But wait it gets better) I just sat and held my peace figuring she would pay me next pay period. So out the kindness of my heart I wait and when I finally And when I have to ask about my money (when I shouldn't have to ask, she should be responsible enough just to pay me back) a whole month later (2 pay periods) She has the nerve to get upset and say "UMMM I am going to have to get back with you on that. I don't have any disposable income" WHAT!!!!! Disposable income. That is not disposable. It is owed to me. What nerve. I mean I cannot believe how people act. This person needs to look up the meaning of disposable income and repeat it in their mind every time they go to get their feet done. I don't want to hear about this person being broke any more. Later for all that negative talk. You want to holler about being broke but insist on getting your hair and feet done by others. Those are luxury services that can be held off when money is tight. It is called prioritizing.
This person really thinks its ok to borrow money from other people and spend uxoriously. Can you say "TRIFELING" This person totally disregards the fact that others have bills too? It is not my problem that they don't know how to handle their finances. It is not my problem that they are bad with money. Some people need to wake up and smell the coffee. It's time out for blaming others for your own problems. Time out for getting angry with others for your problems. This is the real world. Nothing is free. I mean I can chuck it up as another lesson learned. Not very expensive but disappointing.
To sum it all up I guess I learned the hard way. I should never lend money to a person that is always crying broke. I am sure I will not doing it again because no longer will I hang around people that speak that negativity into their own futures. Just the fact that she waited to speak to me for two weeks after I asked for my money back should have shown me what type of person I was dealing with. I was dealing with a person is out to get as much as they can and will take advantage of others as long as they are allowed. I was dealing with one who drains the energy and resources of others to get what they want. I was dealing with one that is not realistic. I was dealing with a true Consumer. What exactly is a consumer you might ask? Well, Webster’s Dictionary defines it as followed:
Consumer:
1.An organism that feeds on other living organisms, for example animals and parasitic plants would be considered consumers. In a food chain, herbivores that eat green plants are primary consumers and carnivores that eat herbivores are secondary consumers.
2. Any organism that cannot produce its own food and must, therefore, get its energy by eating, or consuming, other organisms.
3. Refers to a particular individual who acquires or imports property or a service for his or her personal consumption, use, or enjoyment, or for the personal consumption, use, or enjoyment of another individual at the particular individual's expense.
Well, I would say that seems pretty accurate based on recent events. You might be asking well why are you dealing with such a person if you know they behave this way? Well young grasshopper, if you look in the last few sentences I wrote you will notice a key word. That word is WAS. I was dealing with that person. Was means that I will deal with them no more.
Well, so much for brief.
The next day she comes over and tells me how she got her feet done after she picked up her car! I was furious. I mean how can a person take your bread and butter than turn around and get their feet done? Look here, not only did she get her feet done but turns around and tells me about it. (Somebody please explain this type of thought process) What a lack of respect! What a lack of common sense! I mean the nerve of people. So I proceeded in asking her, “Why in the world did you get your feet done if you are crying broke?” She looks at me dumbfounded and responds by saying Girl I needed that. I just believe at times no matter how tight money is I need to treat myself" NEED-NEED. I guess some people definitions of need are pretty twisted. And as far as treating herself that is fine but as long as she don’t do it with other people’s money. (But I guess it was my fault for even letting her have a dime of my money) So I muster up the patience not to go off. (But wait it gets better) I just sat and held my peace figuring she would pay me next pay period. So out the kindness of my heart I wait and when I finally And when I have to ask about my money (when I shouldn't have to ask, she should be responsible enough just to pay me back) a whole month later (2 pay periods) She has the nerve to get upset and say "UMMM I am going to have to get back with you on that. I don't have any disposable income" WHAT!!!!! Disposable income. That is not disposable. It is owed to me. What nerve. I mean I cannot believe how people act. This person needs to look up the meaning of disposable income and repeat it in their mind every time they go to get their feet done. I don't want to hear about this person being broke any more. Later for all that negative talk. You want to holler about being broke but insist on getting your hair and feet done by others. Those are luxury services that can be held off when money is tight. It is called prioritizing.
This person really thinks its ok to borrow money from other people and spend uxoriously. Can you say "TRIFELING" This person totally disregards the fact that others have bills too? It is not my problem that they don't know how to handle their finances. It is not my problem that they are bad with money. Some people need to wake up and smell the coffee. It's time out for blaming others for your own problems. Time out for getting angry with others for your problems. This is the real world. Nothing is free. I mean I can chuck it up as another lesson learned. Not very expensive but disappointing.
To sum it all up I guess I learned the hard way. I should never lend money to a person that is always crying broke. I am sure I will not doing it again because no longer will I hang around people that speak that negativity into their own futures. Just the fact that she waited to speak to me for two weeks after I asked for my money back should have shown me what type of person I was dealing with. I was dealing with a person is out to get as much as they can and will take advantage of others as long as they are allowed. I was dealing with one who drains the energy and resources of others to get what they want. I was dealing with one that is not realistic. I was dealing with a true Consumer. What exactly is a consumer you might ask? Well, Webster’s Dictionary defines it as followed:
Consumer:
1.An organism that feeds on other living organisms, for example animals and parasitic plants would be considered consumers. In a food chain, herbivores that eat green plants are primary consumers and carnivores that eat herbivores are secondary consumers.
2. Any organism that cannot produce its own food and must, therefore, get its energy by eating, or consuming, other organisms.
3. Refers to a particular individual who acquires or imports property or a service for his or her personal consumption, use, or enjoyment, or for the personal consumption, use, or enjoyment of another individual at the particular individual's expense.
Well, I would say that seems pretty accurate based on recent events. You might be asking well why are you dealing with such a person if you know they behave this way? Well young grasshopper, if you look in the last few sentences I wrote you will notice a key word. That word is WAS. I was dealing with that person. Was means that I will deal with them no more.
Well, so much for brief.
Becoming an Organization of Tomorrow
What measures should be taken in order for a company to be classified as an organization of tomorrow? With the constant evolution of technology and ever changing consumer preferences it takes an organization tremendous effort to remain competitive. In order for an organization to stand the test of time there are three questions that always have to be answered “Where are we now? Where do we want to go? And how do we reach our goals? (Thompson, Pg 3) Answering these three questions effectively is the start of something good but it takes much more than having a plan. In order for a Corporation to be considered as an Organization of tomorrow it must develop a true strategic thinking process, be mindful of environments, technological changes, patterns and themes, and possess a strong employee environment.
To begin, there is little to be gained from developing a plan but a tremendous amount of momentum can gained from a well thought out strategic plan as well as the implementation of the plan. Strategic thinking helps an organization meet head on the challenge of building strategy. It helps an organization apply the latest strategic insights and approaches and accurately assess the competition in an industry.(Receiving an Executive Education, Pg 1) In addition, well thought out strategies followed by strong implementation can help make organizations more competitive and better equipped to deal with change within an industry. Strategic thinking examines a variety of options for growth, including alliances, acquisitions, and internal corporate ventures. These types of options for growth helps organizations do things such as get into critical markets quickly, accelerate the process of building a potent global market presence and gain inside knowledge about unfamiliar markets and cultures. Furthermore, alliances, acquisitions, and internal corporate ventures help an organization access valuable skills and core competencies as well as master new technologies.(Thompson Pg. 146) As a result costs are reduced, and market shares and profits are increased. (Gamble pg. 144) These are few of the many positive results of implementing a well thought out strategy plan within an organization. Managers must continually develop new ways to create and capture value in order to remain successful. A good strategy will help an organization along with this process. (Brickley, Pg 25-26)
Moreover, the ability to be mindful of environments, technological changes, patterns and themes can mean life or death for an organization. If an organization is not mindful of these things it will eventually die. For example, if a company decides to enter another geographic area and has not researched the tastes, preferences and needs of the target market in that area the effect can be disastrous. One example of this is displayed with the Wal-Mart Corporation. In an earlier Case Analysis I concluded that Wal-Mart has a strong presence in the international market but it could be much stronger. Wal-Mart is taking in consideration the customs and culture of other countries. Wal-Mart wants to push their way on other cultures not taking in consideration that adjustments need to be made from country to country. What is suitable in the United States is not always appealing in other countries. Wal-Mart inability to be flexible and adapt has hurt their sales tremendously in Germany which as a result has slowed their growth rate.
Furthermore, if a company wants to position its organization for tomorrow, it needs to tackle today’s technologies and processes that generate resistance to change. Among the biggest challenges businesses face today is reducing the complexity of technology. Some say that technological change is the only constant in the business world of today. Technology is not just contained within the World Wide Web, computers or the Internet. Technology is integrated into all aspects of business. A few examples of uses of technology in the business world include teleconferences, automatic re-ordering of needed parts to sales presentations on laptops. An organization without the knowledge of the latest technology will be left behind. Companies that expect tremendous past performance to shield them from the forces of change driven by advancing technology will fail. Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest applies to businesses as much as it does human beings. (Brickley, Pg 11) An organization must be aware of the changing patterns and trends of an industry. Experimenting, improvising, and learning from past mistakes helps improve a company’s outlook for the future. Reacting, anticipating and leading change are three ways to help ensure success. Industry leaders are proactive agents of change. (Thompson, Pg 124)
Furthermore a strong employee environment is vital if a corporation wants to be considered an organization of the future. Today's high velocity business environment makes increasing demands on managers and workforces, as competitive standards rise and expectations of individuals increase. Managers must respond positively to changes in contemporary workforce attitudes if they are to get the performance levels they need. In addition, good employee relations are not only desirable, they are necessary to help reduce absenteeism, avoid costly disputes and harness goodwill to achieve optimum performance, commitment and effectiveness. (Diversity in the Workplace, Pg. 1) Management and employees needs to increase efficiency, productivity and profitability. Another part of having a strong employee environment is having a diverse and experiences workforce. Businesses have started to recognize diversity in the workplace as a business strategy that maximizes productivity, creativity and loyalty of employees while meeting the needs of their clients or customers. If a company is only as good as their employees, then it stands to reason that a great deal of energy should be devoted to hiring the most talented individuals. By branching out to a diverse workforce, employers have access to a greater pool of candidates thereby improving the odds of hiring the best person. In a competitive marketplace, an organization that puts people first - regardless of their race, religion, gender, age, sexual preference, or physical disability has an advantage over the other players. (Rice, Pg1-2)
Just as the workforce is becoming more diverse so is the market. Employees who mirror the customers that are served can benefit an organization since they will feel as if they hold a common ground. Furthermore, employees with different perspectives can help provide companies with a holistic view of the market identify unmet needs and identify new opportunities. As the value of diversity continues to grow in the business community and elsewhere, recruiting and retaining diverse employees is becoming even more important to continued organizational success. (Diversity in the Workplace. Pg 1)
Recruitment and retention of valuable employees is now recognized as one of the most important issues facing corporate America. By creating an environment where all employees feel included, represented and valued helps to produce greater employee commitment and motivation. It also means fewer resources spent on training and turnover. By recognizing employees’ uniqueness and appreciating their varied perspectives helps ensure an inclusive work environment where awareness of, and respect for, different cultures is promoted. (Employee Relations, Pg.1)
In conclusion, much is required for a company to be considered and organization of tomorrow. An organization must have a clear picture of whom they are, where they want to go and how to achieve their goals. Darwin’s theory of Survival of the fittest applies to corporations as well as human beings. In order for an organization to stand the test of time they it must possess the ability to adapt. An organization of tomorrow must develop a true strategic thinking process, be mindful of environments, changes, patterns and themes, and possess a strong employee environment.
To begin, there is little to be gained from developing a plan but a tremendous amount of momentum can gained from a well thought out strategic plan as well as the implementation of the plan. Strategic thinking helps an organization meet head on the challenge of building strategy. It helps an organization apply the latest strategic insights and approaches and accurately assess the competition in an industry.(Receiving an Executive Education, Pg 1) In addition, well thought out strategies followed by strong implementation can help make organizations more competitive and better equipped to deal with change within an industry. Strategic thinking examines a variety of options for growth, including alliances, acquisitions, and internal corporate ventures. These types of options for growth helps organizations do things such as get into critical markets quickly, accelerate the process of building a potent global market presence and gain inside knowledge about unfamiliar markets and cultures. Furthermore, alliances, acquisitions, and internal corporate ventures help an organization access valuable skills and core competencies as well as master new technologies.(Thompson Pg. 146) As a result costs are reduced, and market shares and profits are increased. (Gamble pg. 144) These are few of the many positive results of implementing a well thought out strategy plan within an organization. Managers must continually develop new ways to create and capture value in order to remain successful. A good strategy will help an organization along with this process. (Brickley, Pg 25-26)
Moreover, the ability to be mindful of environments, technological changes, patterns and themes can mean life or death for an organization. If an organization is not mindful of these things it will eventually die. For example, if a company decides to enter another geographic area and has not researched the tastes, preferences and needs of the target market in that area the effect can be disastrous. One example of this is displayed with the Wal-Mart Corporation. In an earlier Case Analysis I concluded that Wal-Mart has a strong presence in the international market but it could be much stronger. Wal-Mart is taking in consideration the customs and culture of other countries. Wal-Mart wants to push their way on other cultures not taking in consideration that adjustments need to be made from country to country. What is suitable in the United States is not always appealing in other countries. Wal-Mart inability to be flexible and adapt has hurt their sales tremendously in Germany which as a result has slowed their growth rate.
Furthermore, if a company wants to position its organization for tomorrow, it needs to tackle today’s technologies and processes that generate resistance to change. Among the biggest challenges businesses face today is reducing the complexity of technology. Some say that technological change is the only constant in the business world of today. Technology is not just contained within the World Wide Web, computers or the Internet. Technology is integrated into all aspects of business. A few examples of uses of technology in the business world include teleconferences, automatic re-ordering of needed parts to sales presentations on laptops. An organization without the knowledge of the latest technology will be left behind. Companies that expect tremendous past performance to shield them from the forces of change driven by advancing technology will fail. Darwin’s Survival of the Fittest applies to businesses as much as it does human beings. (Brickley, Pg 11) An organization must be aware of the changing patterns and trends of an industry. Experimenting, improvising, and learning from past mistakes helps improve a company’s outlook for the future. Reacting, anticipating and leading change are three ways to help ensure success. Industry leaders are proactive agents of change. (Thompson, Pg 124)
Furthermore a strong employee environment is vital if a corporation wants to be considered an organization of the future. Today's high velocity business environment makes increasing demands on managers and workforces, as competitive standards rise and expectations of individuals increase. Managers must respond positively to changes in contemporary workforce attitudes if they are to get the performance levels they need. In addition, good employee relations are not only desirable, they are necessary to help reduce absenteeism, avoid costly disputes and harness goodwill to achieve optimum performance, commitment and effectiveness. (Diversity in the Workplace, Pg. 1) Management and employees needs to increase efficiency, productivity and profitability. Another part of having a strong employee environment is having a diverse and experiences workforce. Businesses have started to recognize diversity in the workplace as a business strategy that maximizes productivity, creativity and loyalty of employees while meeting the needs of their clients or customers. If a company is only as good as their employees, then it stands to reason that a great deal of energy should be devoted to hiring the most talented individuals. By branching out to a diverse workforce, employers have access to a greater pool of candidates thereby improving the odds of hiring the best person. In a competitive marketplace, an organization that puts people first - regardless of their race, religion, gender, age, sexual preference, or physical disability has an advantage over the other players. (Rice, Pg1-2)
Just as the workforce is becoming more diverse so is the market. Employees who mirror the customers that are served can benefit an organization since they will feel as if they hold a common ground. Furthermore, employees with different perspectives can help provide companies with a holistic view of the market identify unmet needs and identify new opportunities. As the value of diversity continues to grow in the business community and elsewhere, recruiting and retaining diverse employees is becoming even more important to continued organizational success. (Diversity in the Workplace. Pg 1)
Recruitment and retention of valuable employees is now recognized as one of the most important issues facing corporate America. By creating an environment where all employees feel included, represented and valued helps to produce greater employee commitment and motivation. It also means fewer resources spent on training and turnover. By recognizing employees’ uniqueness and appreciating their varied perspectives helps ensure an inclusive work environment where awareness of, and respect for, different cultures is promoted. (Employee Relations, Pg.1)
In conclusion, much is required for a company to be considered and organization of tomorrow. An organization must have a clear picture of whom they are, where they want to go and how to achieve their goals. Darwin’s theory of Survival of the fittest applies to corporations as well as human beings. In order for an organization to stand the test of time they it must possess the ability to adapt. An organization of tomorrow must develop a true strategic thinking process, be mindful of environments, changes, patterns and themes, and possess a strong employee environment.
NAACP Scholarship Bio
I was born in Chicago Illinois on May 30th 1978. As long as I can remember my parents have stressed the value of an education. College was not a choice but yet it seemed to be a necessary part of life. I received a well rounded education and was encouraged by my parents to explore the world whenever given the opportunity.This has led me to lead a very rich and fulfilling life.
All throughout life my dreams of a prosperous career as well as a full personal life have driven me to pursue big things. I graduated from J.W. Sexton High School in Lansing Michigan in 1996. While attending Sexton I nurtured my passion for music as well as writing. Before I graduated I knew I wanted to attend a college that would help me grow and fulfill my passions. After some thinking and planning I decided to attend Eastern Michigan University in the fall of 1996. While attending EMU I majored in Broadcasting with a minor in music. Although I enjoyed my time there I felt I was not getting the college experience that I longed for. I often thought about how it might feel to study with more people like me. The attendance of African American Students at Eastern Michigan University was very low and seemed to grow smaller as time went on. I started to long for camaraderie and relationships with more African Americans. I wanted to see electrifying marching bands and attend entertaining football games. I wanted to be in a place where it was not unusual to see many successful African Americans. I longed for an HBCU experience.
In March 2001 I graduated with my Bachelor’s of Science from EMU and decided to enter the job market. My graduate degree was still in my plans, but with mounting bills and loans working seemed to be the best choice. After 5 years in the work force I felt as though I was not experiencing the growth and success I desired. I had lots of time to research and plan what I wanted to pursue. I researched several HBCU’s and decided to apply to Clark Atlanta University to pursue my Master’s of Business Administration. My choice was well thought out and I knew this would help me meet many of the goals had set a long time before. I was very impressed with the number of Black MBA Degrees that CAU had produced.
In March 2005 I was accepted into Clark Atlanta University and later began in the fall. My dream was now a reality. I was ready to be another trendsetter. I knew with much hard work and determination I could reach the many goals I set for myself. In the process I would make my parents very proud. I knew the feeling of looking at my name on the Diploma would be sweet. Yanice Yvette Carter- Clark Atlanta University Master’s of Business Administration class of 2007.
All throughout life my dreams of a prosperous career as well as a full personal life have driven me to pursue big things. I graduated from J.W. Sexton High School in Lansing Michigan in 1996. While attending Sexton I nurtured my passion for music as well as writing. Before I graduated I knew I wanted to attend a college that would help me grow and fulfill my passions. After some thinking and planning I decided to attend Eastern Michigan University in the fall of 1996. While attending EMU I majored in Broadcasting with a minor in music. Although I enjoyed my time there I felt I was not getting the college experience that I longed for. I often thought about how it might feel to study with more people like me. The attendance of African American Students at Eastern Michigan University was very low and seemed to grow smaller as time went on. I started to long for camaraderie and relationships with more African Americans. I wanted to see electrifying marching bands and attend entertaining football games. I wanted to be in a place where it was not unusual to see many successful African Americans. I longed for an HBCU experience.
In March 2001 I graduated with my Bachelor’s of Science from EMU and decided to enter the job market. My graduate degree was still in my plans, but with mounting bills and loans working seemed to be the best choice. After 5 years in the work force I felt as though I was not experiencing the growth and success I desired. I had lots of time to research and plan what I wanted to pursue. I researched several HBCU’s and decided to apply to Clark Atlanta University to pursue my Master’s of Business Administration. My choice was well thought out and I knew this would help me meet many of the goals had set a long time before. I was very impressed with the number of Black MBA Degrees that CAU had produced.
In March 2005 I was accepted into Clark Atlanta University and later began in the fall. My dream was now a reality. I was ready to be another trendsetter. I knew with much hard work and determination I could reach the many goals I set for myself. In the process I would make my parents very proud. I knew the feeling of looking at my name on the Diploma would be sweet. Yanice Yvette Carter- Clark Atlanta University Master’s of Business Administration class of 2007.
Beauty
Life can be so beautiful if you learn where beauty lies
You have to release the beauty within yourself, don't keep it bottled up inside
The tenderness and passion that so many of us long for
Is patiently waiting for us in the ones that we adore
There is infinite beauty surrounding us that cannot comprehend
Just like warm rays of sunlight, or a gentle touch of wind
There is love all around me waiting to burst out, passion is within
Are you the one my heart longs for as a companion and a friend?
No longer bowing down to fear or letting doubt cloud my mind
This time I won't allow anything to push my love aside
Perfect love takes away all fear, for evil cannot conquer good
So, I extend my heart right out to you just as a true friend should
I can't forecast the future, and I know it's not perfect now
But if you want me beside you, Love, what better time than now?
So give me a sign, just say the word, that's all that I can ask
For this time I will not compare you with the people from the past
All I can do is be myself, and that means being there for you
No matter if we are lovers or friends,
God will bring us through
Notes From the Trail (Septemer 2006)
I am now in Barcelona Spain. If I think back to my life 1 year ago I never would have thought that I would be doing such a thing. My entire world has changed. God has definitely blessed me with strength to step outside of my comfort zone. The great thing about this experience is I know I am here for a purpose. Everything worked out smoothly and for that I am grateful.
I have been submerged into an entirely different culture. At times I feel uncomfortable and helpless but most of the time I love to soak it all in. To see life from a new perspective is very refreshing. I am confidant this is an experience that will add to my growth mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Every time the sun rises I know that new and exciting experiences are ahead of me. I never know quite what to expect and that is great. At the end of the day I can reflect and be proud of how I handled myself in very difficult situations.
The locals are very nice and seem to appreciate when people try to adjust to their culture. I don’t speak fluent Spanish but I make a tremendous effort to speak nothing but Spanish when I interact with the people here. (Even if I have to pull out my dictionary) I want to show them the respect that so many foreigners have shown me time and time again while visiting America.
My living situation is not what I expected either. I live in an apartment just a few blocks from the University. I live with. two guys and two girls. They are all undergraduate students. They are very sweet and I like them a lot but it gets difficult for me at times. They are all pretty much in a stage that I passed up a long time ago. They want to go out and party every night when I am trying to recuperate and prepare myself for the next day. They even gave me the nickname mama. They said it is because my caring and nurturing ways. They are also impressed with the fact that I cook and clean on a daily basis. It is funny being called mama, but it has kind of grown on me. Now even some of the people at the School are calling me mama. The name has defiantly stuck. I guess maybe that means they see me as a good example and respect what I stand for.
I have been submerged into an entirely different culture. At times I feel uncomfortable and helpless but most of the time I love to soak it all in. To see life from a new perspective is very refreshing. I am confidant this is an experience that will add to my growth mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Every time the sun rises I know that new and exciting experiences are ahead of me. I never know quite what to expect and that is great. At the end of the day I can reflect and be proud of how I handled myself in very difficult situations.
The locals are very nice and seem to appreciate when people try to adjust to their culture. I don’t speak fluent Spanish but I make a tremendous effort to speak nothing but Spanish when I interact with the people here. (Even if I have to pull out my dictionary) I want to show them the respect that so many foreigners have shown me time and time again while visiting America.
My living situation is not what I expected either. I live in an apartment just a few blocks from the University. I live with. two guys and two girls. They are all undergraduate students. They are very sweet and I like them a lot but it gets difficult for me at times. They are all pretty much in a stage that I passed up a long time ago. They want to go out and party every night when I am trying to recuperate and prepare myself for the next day. They even gave me the nickname mama. They said it is because my caring and nurturing ways. They are also impressed with the fact that I cook and clean on a daily basis. It is funny being called mama, but it has kind of grown on me. Now even some of the people at the School are calling me mama. The name has defiantly stuck. I guess maybe that means they see me as a good example and respect what I stand for.
That Gut Feeling
This road called life can be so complex at times. Although walking around guarded is not something that we all want to do it is a must at times in order to protect our feelings. I would like to think that I can meet a person that seems nice and let them into my world but it just doesn't work like that. Not if I want to preserve my feelings. That is sad but true. What am I getting to you ask? Well, I guess I have been thinking about the appropriate time to let my guard down. I wonder more and more when is the right time and if there is a thing, as a right time how will I know? How do we truly know that we can trust someone and invite him or her into our world?
If you think about it we encounter hundreds of people on a daily basis (via phone, email, in person etc.) but it is our choice how much interaction we have with them. As much as I want to embrace the goodness around me I have to protect myself from the bad. No, I do not focus on the negative but I still have to be aware that it is out there. When you are created with a heart and learn to use it to the fullest it is sad to think about how many people actually miss out on your love. I don't really mean this in a romantic way I mean in general. A person that is filled with love truly aches when they cannot give their love freely. I guess with something so precious you have to be careful who you choose to give it to. I guess in a perfect world love would flow freely but that is not the way it is.
In addition, some are intimidated when they have they chance to experience unconditional love. This world has gotten so used to not having love in their lives they don’t actually know how to receive it when it is presented to them. It's sad because when I think back for months at a time the people that I actually hoped to have around long term are gone for one reason or another. So I start to wonder, "what is it"? "Why is it so difficult to find people that you truly connect with in life"? If I am being myself I one would figure that I would have no problem finding and keeping genuine people in my life, but that is not the case. These days it is very difficult to truly difficult to figure who truly has your best interest at heart. So bad I do want to believe that these "cool people" I encounter will be in it for the long haul but that seems to be so rare these days.
So by now you are probably wondering the same thing I ask myself on a daily basis "when and how do we know to let someone close to our hearts"? One thing I have learned to do is go with my gut feeling. There is something deep down on the inside of me that tells me when something is not right. You know that feeling down in the pit of your stomach right? (That somewhat queasy uncomfortable feeling) Don't swallow that feeling. Definitely do not ignore that feeling. God gave us that feeling. That is one way God communicates with us. Just think back to those times when you thought, "hey something does not feel quite right. Why do I feel this way? I don't know if I should do this." Every time we ignored those kinds of feelings we ended up in a bad situation wishing we could have made a better choice. I am learning to listen to that feeling. It's amazing to see what can be avoided by submitting to that feeling. I know sometimes it comes when you are sure everything is right and the timing is perfect but be conscience of that feeling no matter what you're emotions might tell you. Never allow a want or desire turn into lust. If lust comes into the picture it can possibly drown out all rationale. Just recently I ran into a "Gold Mine" myself. I had to make the difficult choice of letting a "great thing go" (or at least something my emotions thought was great) I had to go in another direction. Nothing was visually wrong but deep on the inside I knew that going with "that gut feeling" would help me avoid some very unpleasant situations. I know it seems very hard but there are some great one out there and when we encounter them we just have to have faith that the greatness will last.
So I guess I have learned to cherish the great ones that are currently in your life now. I have also learned not to beat up on myself if I give a person a chance to come closer to me and it backfired. Instead I will think about all the wonderful people in my life right now. Try to think back to the times that people went from acquaintances to associates to friends to good buddies to great ones. See it does happen. Greatness happens when we least expect it. That time of letting down our guard comes when the time is right. I know we cannot look in the future or set a time to anything it all goes back to Gods timing. God has a way of working it all out for your good and if you don’t believe me just ask the GREAT I AM.
Romans 8:28:28We are assured and know that [[a] God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
If you think about it we encounter hundreds of people on a daily basis (via phone, email, in person etc.) but it is our choice how much interaction we have with them. As much as I want to embrace the goodness around me I have to protect myself from the bad. No, I do not focus on the negative but I still have to be aware that it is out there. When you are created with a heart and learn to use it to the fullest it is sad to think about how many people actually miss out on your love. I don't really mean this in a romantic way I mean in general. A person that is filled with love truly aches when they cannot give their love freely. I guess with something so precious you have to be careful who you choose to give it to. I guess in a perfect world love would flow freely but that is not the way it is.
In addition, some are intimidated when they have they chance to experience unconditional love. This world has gotten so used to not having love in their lives they don’t actually know how to receive it when it is presented to them. It's sad because when I think back for months at a time the people that I actually hoped to have around long term are gone for one reason or another. So I start to wonder, "what is it"? "Why is it so difficult to find people that you truly connect with in life"? If I am being myself I one would figure that I would have no problem finding and keeping genuine people in my life, but that is not the case. These days it is very difficult to truly difficult to figure who truly has your best interest at heart. So bad I do want to believe that these "cool people" I encounter will be in it for the long haul but that seems to be so rare these days.
So by now you are probably wondering the same thing I ask myself on a daily basis "when and how do we know to let someone close to our hearts"? One thing I have learned to do is go with my gut feeling. There is something deep down on the inside of me that tells me when something is not right. You know that feeling down in the pit of your stomach right? (That somewhat queasy uncomfortable feeling) Don't swallow that feeling. Definitely do not ignore that feeling. God gave us that feeling. That is one way God communicates with us. Just think back to those times when you thought, "hey something does not feel quite right. Why do I feel this way? I don't know if I should do this." Every time we ignored those kinds of feelings we ended up in a bad situation wishing we could have made a better choice. I am learning to listen to that feeling. It's amazing to see what can be avoided by submitting to that feeling. I know sometimes it comes when you are sure everything is right and the timing is perfect but be conscience of that feeling no matter what you're emotions might tell you. Never allow a want or desire turn into lust. If lust comes into the picture it can possibly drown out all rationale. Just recently I ran into a "Gold Mine" myself. I had to make the difficult choice of letting a "great thing go" (or at least something my emotions thought was great) I had to go in another direction. Nothing was visually wrong but deep on the inside I knew that going with "that gut feeling" would help me avoid some very unpleasant situations. I know it seems very hard but there are some great one out there and when we encounter them we just have to have faith that the greatness will last.
So I guess I have learned to cherish the great ones that are currently in your life now. I have also learned not to beat up on myself if I give a person a chance to come closer to me and it backfired. Instead I will think about all the wonderful people in my life right now. Try to think back to the times that people went from acquaintances to associates to friends to good buddies to great ones. See it does happen. Greatness happens when we least expect it. That time of letting down our guard comes when the time is right. I know we cannot look in the future or set a time to anything it all goes back to Gods timing. God has a way of working it all out for your good and if you don’t believe me just ask the GREAT I AM.
Romans 8:28:28We are assured and know that [[a] God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
Old Habits Die Hard (July 2006)
How come every time I enter a new phase in life there seems to be old temptations? I tell myself over and over if it did not work out before it will not work out this time. I am the strongest I have ever been yet it seems so difficult to turn my back on certain things. You probably are wondering what I am talking about. Well let me explain. Over a year ago I was involved with a young man. We knew each other for years and I thought that everything could work out. We both seemed to want the same things out of life. (Or so I thought) I met him when I was in undergrad some time ago. We were at church when our eyes first met. I didn't think much of it at the time but later on we ended up being very close friends. I didn’t feel any romantic feelings for him at the time but as the weeks and months passed we ended up heading down that road. We parted ways for some time and reunited. After catching up and getting re-acquainted we decided that we should give a relationship a try. It seemed right. I thought it would be perfect since we were so good at being friends. It did not end up working out. I thought it would. It seemed as if it was supposed to. I thought us meeting up again was a sign to move forward and pick up were we left off. I thought we should give it a try. No matter how many times we tried something would not let us move forward. I racked my brain for the longest time wondering why. Maybe it was timing. Yeah, I thought it would be better if I waited and we crossed paths again. So about a year later we gave it another try. We decided to make if official. He meets the parents, we talk about moving away together, a house n’ all that stuff. But once again slowly but surely things started falling apart. I was so disappointed. I couldn't understand what was going on. We seemed so good as friends. Where did we go wrong? I tried and tried to make things work but I realized I could not go on trying to make things work by myself. Things started to get really bad. I started to get that gut feeling in the pit of my stomach but I continued to ignore it. I kept saying, "we can make it, we love each other, we are best friends, I know we can make it" Then we he forgot my birthday. After that I finally accepted that it was not going to work. I looked past a lot of things. I looked past the cancelled plans. I looked past the many times he forgot to call when he said he would. I looked past the broken promises. I looked past the times he refused to make time for me. I over looked the times when he took his friends and co-workers out instead of me but I could not look past him forgetting my birthday. He knew how much that meant to me. He seemed to grow colder and colder until his heart was ice cold. I could no longer look past it. I reminded him time and time again in hopes that he would give his all to salvage the relationship. I finally had to tell myself that I had grown in ways that he could not accept. I decided to move on with my life. On the day after my birthday I called him to let him know that I got accepted into Clark Atlanta University and I would be moving to Atlanta. He then knew I would be moving on without him but still he acted as if he didn't care. I also let him know that I was furious out him forgetting my special day. I don't know what happened to his heart. He still did not budge. My heart cried on the inside in hopes that he would beg me to stay. I wanted him to run to me and tell me how much he needed me in his life. I wanted so very bad for him to want to be a part of the new life that was waiting for me. Instead he didn’t even say goodbye. No calls. No emails. No letters. No nothing. So I moved on. I wasn’t going to wait around and be sad. I had just met one of the biggest goals of my life. I was moving to Atlanta to further my education and expand my life. I knew there were big things ahead of me. Even though I thought of him many days and nights I did not let that keep me from my future. I moved on with no word from him. I traveled, finished my first year of the MBA program and got a marketing internship at Verizon Communications. Well heck, I even decided to take a chance and study abroad in Barcelona Spain. I was a completely different woman. And then out of nowhere he contacts me. 16 months later he contacts me. I guess he found out about the Study Abroad thing. He gives me all of the apologies and I love you's that I longed for in the past. I was eating it up. This is what I longed for right. All of the old feelings started to come back. I was okay with it until. I said to myself “HOLD UP GIRL!!” “Where was this guy 16 months ago when you really needed him? Things are going great for you now. You’re about to spend a semester in Spain and you are also completing a great internship in one of the biggest corporations in the world. Things are great and you’re happy. Where was he on your birthday? Where was he when you needed a shoulder to cry on? Where was he when you received the first F of your college career? He was not there. Nor did he try to be there. He missed out on all the experiences that you asked him to share with you”. After telling myself this I realized I was a different person and things could never be the same. I was different. I had grown. I knew I could not accept the things that I accepted in the past. I knew that a relationship between us was out of the question. I knew at that moment that I deserved more and I could not get the things I deserved if I continued to allow my past to pull me away from my future. To quote a great preacher I heard in church “It was time to get pulled forward by my future.” I cannot go back. I will use my past mistakes as life lessons. I know what I cannot go back to. I know what does and does not work for me. That is something we should all remember as we walk though life. We have to know what works and does not work for us. We have to recognize those things that are good and bad for us. We need to find out what those good and bad things are be it people, places, or things. Those things might be tangible or intangible; it’s different for everyone. We must realize that we cannot continue to move forward if we allow our pasts to hold us back. So will I try to be friends with him? God knows. I will pray about it and see. But no matter what happens I will remember:
Isaiah 43:18-25:18 Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Isaiah 43:18-25:18 Do not [earnestly] remember the former things; neither consider the things of old.
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs forth; do you not perceive and know it and will you not give heed to it? I will even make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
Vaya Con Dios (September 2006)
"Vaya Con Dios" (Go with God)
Overall, I would say my experience here in Maryland has been good. Although I spent lots of time being homesick and trying to adjust to corporate life, I have learned a lot. It was an extremely difficult experience for me but it caused tremendous growth in my life. I spent most of my time working at my internship but I did have lots of time to think about what I want out of life. I thought hard about what I want from life personally, professionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Now that my time here is coming to an end, I realize how valuable this experience has been for me. For all those times I felt so alone that was the time that I spent thinking about my goals dreams and aspirations. While in Maryland, I learned how to depend on myself more and what it really means to trust God. I have said, “I trust God” in the past but now I really understand what trusting God means. At times when I had no one to share my deepest feelings with, I turned to God. At times when I felt that no one understood how I felt inside, I turned to God. At the times I felt as though I needed comfort and love, I turned to God. I learned that I do not have to go out looking for love when I already have it inside and around. God is Love.
God really helped me through my entire experience. I had many crazy things happen in Maryland that I had absolutely no control over. When these events took place that is when I stepped aside and gave it to God. I now believe that if we do everything in our power to make progress God will definitely do his part. I really understand that faith without works is dead. I understand. I also know that there are times that; there is nothing much at all we can do in situations. Those are the times to step aside and let the master do his work.
I guess when we are in the middle of difficult situations it is difficult trying to see the end result. That is also when we must step aside and let God work things out in our lives. I look back at times (and I still do this) where I over analyzed everything. Sometimes doing this would make the problem worse than it was in the beginning. I now know that I will not always be able to understand what God is doing my life. Some things I can look back and say “I see what God did” but other things are still a mystery. This is when I must not lean into my own understanding. I have to realize that there is something bigger that I might not ever understand but know inside that God meant the situation for my good. Whether it was for the development of my character of for the benefit of someone else, I trust God to work out the best for my life.
Periods of reflection are vital for everyone lives. This is a major time when we can evaluate our lives and see how far we have come and what God has delivered us from. I know I can be a bit hard on myself during some of my reflective periods but it is only because I truly want to do God’s will. I look at myself at times and I want to do better and be farther along than I am, but I think that is the case with most people that desire God’s will for their lives. When I find myself being to hard on me, I just think of what I have accomplished. I think of how hard I worked to get where I am and I think about all the people that are less fortunate than I am. I have been thoroughly blessed throughout my life. Wonderful parents that sacrificed so I would not go without raised me. My parents were also God fearing with high morals, and high standards. This is truly a blessing. I was taught love, discipline and the fear of the Lord. This is a great foundation for any child to have so I must remember my blessings.
Reflection, reflection. It is all about reflection. So many things were unclear but now I am starting to understand by reflecting. I admit I do not understand everything but I am blessed. Even when I am going through the storms of life, I am blessed. Even when I cannot understand, a trial I am going through, I am blessed. God designs our lives with the ending in mind. We must remember this as we are walking through life. We must all remember we have a purpose, a destiny to fulfill. God will open the doors for us if we do our parts, trust in him and have faith in him. Success in life is obtainable if we all remember to “Vaya Con Dios” (Go with God)
Proverbs 3:5,65Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
Overall, I would say my experience here in Maryland has been good. Although I spent lots of time being homesick and trying to adjust to corporate life, I have learned a lot. It was an extremely difficult experience for me but it caused tremendous growth in my life. I spent most of my time working at my internship but I did have lots of time to think about what I want out of life. I thought hard about what I want from life personally, professionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.
Now that my time here is coming to an end, I realize how valuable this experience has been for me. For all those times I felt so alone that was the time that I spent thinking about my goals dreams and aspirations. While in Maryland, I learned how to depend on myself more and what it really means to trust God. I have said, “I trust God” in the past but now I really understand what trusting God means. At times when I had no one to share my deepest feelings with, I turned to God. At times when I felt that no one understood how I felt inside, I turned to God. At the times I felt as though I needed comfort and love, I turned to God. I learned that I do not have to go out looking for love when I already have it inside and around. God is Love.
God really helped me through my entire experience. I had many crazy things happen in Maryland that I had absolutely no control over. When these events took place that is when I stepped aside and gave it to God. I now believe that if we do everything in our power to make progress God will definitely do his part. I really understand that faith without works is dead. I understand. I also know that there are times that; there is nothing much at all we can do in situations. Those are the times to step aside and let the master do his work.
I guess when we are in the middle of difficult situations it is difficult trying to see the end result. That is also when we must step aside and let God work things out in our lives. I look back at times (and I still do this) where I over analyzed everything. Sometimes doing this would make the problem worse than it was in the beginning. I now know that I will not always be able to understand what God is doing my life. Some things I can look back and say “I see what God did” but other things are still a mystery. This is when I must not lean into my own understanding. I have to realize that there is something bigger that I might not ever understand but know inside that God meant the situation for my good. Whether it was for the development of my character of for the benefit of someone else, I trust God to work out the best for my life.
Periods of reflection are vital for everyone lives. This is a major time when we can evaluate our lives and see how far we have come and what God has delivered us from. I know I can be a bit hard on myself during some of my reflective periods but it is only because I truly want to do God’s will. I look at myself at times and I want to do better and be farther along than I am, but I think that is the case with most people that desire God’s will for their lives. When I find myself being to hard on me, I just think of what I have accomplished. I think of how hard I worked to get where I am and I think about all the people that are less fortunate than I am. I have been thoroughly blessed throughout my life. Wonderful parents that sacrificed so I would not go without raised me. My parents were also God fearing with high morals, and high standards. This is truly a blessing. I was taught love, discipline and the fear of the Lord. This is a great foundation for any child to have so I must remember my blessings.
Reflection, reflection. It is all about reflection. So many things were unclear but now I am starting to understand by reflecting. I admit I do not understand everything but I am blessed. Even when I am going through the storms of life, I am blessed. Even when I cannot understand, a trial I am going through, I am blessed. God designs our lives with the ending in mind. We must remember this as we are walking through life. We must all remember we have a purpose, a destiny to fulfill. God will open the doors for us if we do our parts, trust in him and have faith in him. Success in life is obtainable if we all remember to “Vaya Con Dios” (Go with God)
Proverbs 3:5,65Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
Another Year Older, Another Year Wiser (May 2007)
I am so happy that I was blessed to see yet another year. My birthdays now have a new meaning and a new significance. After time passes in my life I often reflect on the many people that did not have the opportunity to live, see, and experience what I have thus far. When I awoke on my birthday I felt newness and a joy that I have never experienced before. I feel as though every year that passes God gives me another light. When I say that I mean that God allows me to see things in a different light. If we are open to gaining knowledge and wisdom he delights in giving us just that. It is ours for the taking. So as I reflect I am very amazed at the progress that I have made and the things I have learned and discovered. I know I have worked hard but first and foremost I must give credit where credit is due. God has been the one to lead me down the right path. He opened all the doors for me and I knew that I needed to walk through every door he opened. Looking back, walking through those open doors was not always an easy thing. At times we all have own agenda (most of the times. lol) which can often cause us to question what moves should be made next. I have to remind myself that I will not always understand why I must do certain things and that makes it even more difficult.
It’s tough to be separated from the crowd and walk in a different direction. All the explanations and justification can be exhausting as well as overwhelming until it is discovered that explanations are not necessary. We might feel like it is our duty to explain and justify why we do things a little differently but it is not. When you are called to walk down that distant road you must keep in mind the big picture. When I feel a little different or out of place I just tell myself (and sometimes others) “my path is my path” I have to do this my own way which is the way that God has lead me to do them. It is tough but that in itself is victory. Working towards a divine purpose and a higher calling, much higher than we can even comprehend. So now I sit here at 29 and I am trying to take it all in, (deep breathe) Whoo…words cannot comprehend. I am blessed, I am happy, I have been transformed and I will never be the same.
Romans 8:28:28We are assured and know that [[a] God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
Proverbs 3:5,65Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
It’s tough to be separated from the crowd and walk in a different direction. All the explanations and justification can be exhausting as well as overwhelming until it is discovered that explanations are not necessary. We might feel like it is our duty to explain and justify why we do things a little differently but it is not. When you are called to walk down that distant road you must keep in mind the big picture. When I feel a little different or out of place I just tell myself (and sometimes others) “my path is my path” I have to do this my own way which is the way that God has lead me to do them. It is tough but that in itself is victory. Working towards a divine purpose and a higher calling, much higher than we can even comprehend. So now I sit here at 29 and I am trying to take it all in, (deep breathe) Whoo…words cannot comprehend. I am blessed, I am happy, I have been transformed and I will never be the same.
Romans 8:28:28We are assured and know that [[a] God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
Proverbs 3:5,65Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
6In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.
One Time…Uhh I mean Once More for Nostalgia’s Sake
Memories can sometimes be more powerful than expected. If you are wondering what I mean think of how many people are driven by the past and refuse to live in the present. Think back to that old high school buddy or friend from the past that you no longer connect with. You occasionally try to hang out with them, but all they can talk about was back in the day when they scored a touchdown during the homecoming game or the time when they were crowned prom King/Queen. Don’t get me wrong, memories are great but how can you grow when failing to let the past go. Too often people live in the past and frequently forget the power of the moment. With each moment comes the potential of living life to the fullest, and reaching for every dream.
If you think about it, present day reality can be a bit overwhelming for those afraid to face it. In no way I am trying to act as though I have it all figured out because I am positive I don’t. As much as I pride myself in growth, development and progress there are brief moments when I fall victim to living in the past. The past can be very powerful and sometimes devastating if we refuse to let it go. As much as I would love to say I have learned from all my past mistakes I am not at that point (I’m not sure if I will ever be) There have been times when I went back and did things that I was so sure that I would never do again. It definitely was the nostalgia. Nos·tal·gi·a pronounced -nŏ-stăl'jə, nə- which Webster’s dictionary defines as: A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days. Old memories can feel really good but you must know how to separate the past from the present. The failure to move forward can prevent us from capturing the gifts and blessings in front of us.
I believe that I had to write about this in order to move into a new stage in my life. The only way that I can move on from certain situations is to really take a step back, evaluate and identify the things that keep me bound. Although this is often a painful process it feels better in the long run. It is similar to getting pesky wisdom teeth pulled, it really hurts afterwards but a few days later relief sets in and you end up feeling better than before they were pulled.
Seeing the big picture is extremely important. I must continually remind myself of this fact because many times I have been pulled in by nostalgia. The problem with that is that it never lasts. Just think of how good it smells walking past a bakery. Just in one instant the warm smell arouses many memories that are better in our minds than the actual experience ever was. Before we know it we turn around enter the bakery and eat a piece of cake when we don’t want the extra calories. Before we know it the cake is gone and the experience is over. So we sit and say to ourselves “was the cake worth it? The moment was so brief and it didn’t taste, as nearly as good as it smelled. I was sure it would be better than that.”
One of my nostalgic experiences can often be traced back to an old friend. When I think back I remember how our friendship stopped growing. Back and forth time and time again and we failed to address this because of our history. We would the separate and reunite. The initial meeting after being apart was wonderful but after a few days (in some cases hours) the fizzle would fade. All the smoke would clear and I was again back into a situation that I promised myself I would not get into again. I got so caught up with the good memories I failed to think of the reasons we grew apart in the first place. I was driven by the good times and the hopes of what might have been at one time or another. Later I finally realized the only thing we really had between us was all those years. History and memories alone is not the foundation for a fruitful friendship. For me it was a friendship but this is not always the case for everyone. It can be people, places; things that we just know are not good for us.
It is good for us to rejoice in the fact that we have grown and some things from the past should stay in the past. We must learn how to let go of things good and bad. Letting go, letting God…hmmm that sounds familiar. I have heard this phrase time and time again but the application of this in life is at times challenging. Although submission to God is not easy I have realized it is necessary for completeness. As time passes it becomes clearer in my mind that I am not in control. I have to let go of the reigns. We must remember if we are submitted to the Father he brings fourth people, things and events in our lives to accommodate were we are going. I have heard many ministers talk about how God begins with the ending in mind. The more time passes the more this statement becomes alive in my life. It is one thing to hear the Word but when it becomes alive in your life it is truly amazing. God desires that we continue to develop all areas of our lives. He desires for us to be balanced and display our true character. In order for us to fulfill our purpose here on earth we must welcome change. We must be open to what is in front of us. How can God hand us our blessing if our hand is already full?
2 Corinthians 5:17:17Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!
If you think about it, present day reality can be a bit overwhelming for those afraid to face it. In no way I am trying to act as though I have it all figured out because I am positive I don’t. As much as I pride myself in growth, development and progress there are brief moments when I fall victim to living in the past. The past can be very powerful and sometimes devastating if we refuse to let it go. As much as I would love to say I have learned from all my past mistakes I am not at that point (I’m not sure if I will ever be) There have been times when I went back and did things that I was so sure that I would never do again. It definitely was the nostalgia. Nos·tal·gi·a pronounced -nŏ-stăl'jə, nə- which Webster’s dictionary defines as: A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days. Old memories can feel really good but you must know how to separate the past from the present. The failure to move forward can prevent us from capturing the gifts and blessings in front of us.
I believe that I had to write about this in order to move into a new stage in my life. The only way that I can move on from certain situations is to really take a step back, evaluate and identify the things that keep me bound. Although this is often a painful process it feels better in the long run. It is similar to getting pesky wisdom teeth pulled, it really hurts afterwards but a few days later relief sets in and you end up feeling better than before they were pulled.
Seeing the big picture is extremely important. I must continually remind myself of this fact because many times I have been pulled in by nostalgia. The problem with that is that it never lasts. Just think of how good it smells walking past a bakery. Just in one instant the warm smell arouses many memories that are better in our minds than the actual experience ever was. Before we know it we turn around enter the bakery and eat a piece of cake when we don’t want the extra calories. Before we know it the cake is gone and the experience is over. So we sit and say to ourselves “was the cake worth it? The moment was so brief and it didn’t taste, as nearly as good as it smelled. I was sure it would be better than that.”
One of my nostalgic experiences can often be traced back to an old friend. When I think back I remember how our friendship stopped growing. Back and forth time and time again and we failed to address this because of our history. We would the separate and reunite. The initial meeting after being apart was wonderful but after a few days (in some cases hours) the fizzle would fade. All the smoke would clear and I was again back into a situation that I promised myself I would not get into again. I got so caught up with the good memories I failed to think of the reasons we grew apart in the first place. I was driven by the good times and the hopes of what might have been at one time or another. Later I finally realized the only thing we really had between us was all those years. History and memories alone is not the foundation for a fruitful friendship. For me it was a friendship but this is not always the case for everyone. It can be people, places; things that we just know are not good for us.
It is good for us to rejoice in the fact that we have grown and some things from the past should stay in the past. We must learn how to let go of things good and bad. Letting go, letting God…hmmm that sounds familiar. I have heard this phrase time and time again but the application of this in life is at times challenging. Although submission to God is not easy I have realized it is necessary for completeness. As time passes it becomes clearer in my mind that I am not in control. I have to let go of the reigns. We must remember if we are submitted to the Father he brings fourth people, things and events in our lives to accommodate were we are going. I have heard many ministers talk about how God begins with the ending in mind. The more time passes the more this statement becomes alive in my life. It is one thing to hear the Word but when it becomes alive in your life it is truly amazing. God desires that we continue to develop all areas of our lives. He desires for us to be balanced and display our true character. In order for us to fulfill our purpose here on earth we must welcome change. We must be open to what is in front of us. How can God hand us our blessing if our hand is already full?
2 Corinthians 5:17:17Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!
Seeing Yourself through God's Eyes
What is your idea of the perfect person? For as long as I can remember I looked up to lots of people I saw on the tube. When I younger I sometimes longed to be the people on the music videos and television shows. I would catch myself at times saying, “Wow, their life seems so glamorous. What I wouldn’t give to live their lives. I wish I looked just like them. If I had a body like that everyone would love me.” I guess at that time I did not realize the key word that I used in those phrases. Seems. Everything seemed great on the surface but I had no idea of the types of lifestyles these people were really living. The main things I retained were the messages I heard on television about beauty, and size. All I was able to see was what the people in TV land wanted me to see. Things such as character and integrity were not an issue when in actuality those were the things that were most important.
I grew up with my weight always being a major issue to me and now when I look back I wish I wouldn’t have put so much energy into changing my exterior to be pleasing to others. It is such a sad thing when young people are bombarded with messages that make them feel as though they never are good enough. They can continually lose weight or do things to change their physical appearance but it never seems to be enough. This can be such a stronghold in people’s lives. For example, one day I was riding in the car with a dear friend of mine although I still struggle with this issue something a dear friend of mine said to me really helped to re-evaluate who I really am. We were chatting and I was telling him how much I wanted to be a size 8. After saying that he followed by telling me “You know Yanice lots of people that are that size are still not happy. You should just focus on being the best Yanice you can be and that is the important thing” From that day on I really did make more of an effort to focus on being the best me I could be.
Yes it is very difficult to focus on the inside first living in a society that is so driven by appearance but I know it is possible. I know that true beauty lies within. Just think about it, there are so many people in this world that are attractive but are not beautiful. Beauty is an inside characteristic that shines brightly and flows to the outside. True beauty is being able to move people just by being whom God made you. One thing I asked God to help me with is seeing myself the ways he sees me. That is wonderful thing. I mean think about it no two people are the same. If we learn to see ourselves they way God sees us than many of the issues we have with our appearance will fade away. Furthermore whoever God intends to be a significant part of our life will also see us through God’s eyes. Don’t beat yourself up trying to compete with others far as appearance goes. Compete with yourself and strive to be the best person you can be. You are good and keep in mind that God never makes mistakes.
Genesis 1:31:And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.
I grew up with my weight always being a major issue to me and now when I look back I wish I wouldn’t have put so much energy into changing my exterior to be pleasing to others. It is such a sad thing when young people are bombarded with messages that make them feel as though they never are good enough. They can continually lose weight or do things to change their physical appearance but it never seems to be enough. This can be such a stronghold in people’s lives. For example, one day I was riding in the car with a dear friend of mine although I still struggle with this issue something a dear friend of mine said to me really helped to re-evaluate who I really am. We were chatting and I was telling him how much I wanted to be a size 8. After saying that he followed by telling me “You know Yanice lots of people that are that size are still not happy. You should just focus on being the best Yanice you can be and that is the important thing” From that day on I really did make more of an effort to focus on being the best me I could be.
Yes it is very difficult to focus on the inside first living in a society that is so driven by appearance but I know it is possible. I know that true beauty lies within. Just think about it, there are so many people in this world that are attractive but are not beautiful. Beauty is an inside characteristic that shines brightly and flows to the outside. True beauty is being able to move people just by being whom God made you. One thing I asked God to help me with is seeing myself the ways he sees me. That is wonderful thing. I mean think about it no two people are the same. If we learn to see ourselves they way God sees us than many of the issues we have with our appearance will fade away. Furthermore whoever God intends to be a significant part of our life will also see us through God’s eyes. Don’t beat yourself up trying to compete with others far as appearance goes. Compete with yourself and strive to be the best person you can be. You are good and keep in mind that God never makes mistakes.
Genesis 1:31:And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.
God....the Ultimate Composer
Have you ever felt as though you were in the middle of God’s perfect Symphony? It is as if you can literally see him place each note on the pages of your life. His timing is so perfect whether it be a phone call, a prayer, reading a book, or holding a conversation the metronome that clicks let you know that you are in the right place at the right time. The tempo is perfect and you see your life unfold and know your steps are ordered in God’s perfect will. The sounds of the notes are sweet and satisfying you feel as though you are a violin that perfectly blends with every other instrument in the orchestra creating perfect melodies and harmonies. I am describing this because I feel like that right at this moment. I am not exactly sure when that will change but I am going to take my timer and savor the peace that I feel. Just a second…………….I had to take a breath just to savor the peace that I feel. Once again I must take a breath to feel the awesome life that I am able to take in. This writing was totally inspired by God. Not only am I able to communicate with Him through by my writing but also he is able to communicate with me.
When I got home from work today somehow I knew that something wonderful would transpire. My desires to partake in my normal routine were not there. On this day I decided to read. First I started with “The Five Love Languages” and shortly after I moved to my Bible. As I read I pondered on my strong desire to hear the voice of the Lord. Lately I have really longed to communicate and fellowship with God on a much deeper level and as a result of this I decided to fill my spirit with the things of God.
After reading a few chapters in the Bible I really wanted to commune with God. So I sat and I wondered of a good way to express my love and adoration towards him. Shortly afterwards I started to think of the ways I express my love to my birth father. Whenever I want to let my father know how I feel about him I tell him. Through words of affirmation I can express my love to the Heavenly Father. Words of affirmation is indeed an excellent way to express our love to our to him. Just tell God that you love him. If you haven’t said it out loud before try it and see how he reciprocates His love immediately. God appreciates and adores when His children express love through spoken words. Just recall how good it makes you feel when that person you love, admire and respect says “I LOVE YOU”. You might already know how that person feels but to have that person re-affirm their feelings is an exquisite thing.
The expression of love is such a wonderful thing. God wants to teach us how to love from the source, which He is the source of all love. Once we have a foundation of love within us, which He is the source, we will be as a well that never runs dry. Our ability to love others unselfishly will bring us great joy, strength, and happiness. God is Love. This scripture has become alive in my life and I have now lived it. God has loved me, taught me to love myself, love others, and return unto him a supernatural love that surpasses all comprehension. I am in God’s perfect symphony and he is the ultimate composer of life.
1 John 4:7-21:7Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know and understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him].
8He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.
9In this the love of God was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that God sent His Son, the only begotten or [a] unique [Son], into the world so that we might live through Him.
When I got home from work today somehow I knew that something wonderful would transpire. My desires to partake in my normal routine were not there. On this day I decided to read. First I started with “The Five Love Languages” and shortly after I moved to my Bible. As I read I pondered on my strong desire to hear the voice of the Lord. Lately I have really longed to communicate and fellowship with God on a much deeper level and as a result of this I decided to fill my spirit with the things of God.
After reading a few chapters in the Bible I really wanted to commune with God. So I sat and I wondered of a good way to express my love and adoration towards him. Shortly afterwards I started to think of the ways I express my love to my birth father. Whenever I want to let my father know how I feel about him I tell him. Through words of affirmation I can express my love to the Heavenly Father. Words of affirmation is indeed an excellent way to express our love to our to him. Just tell God that you love him. If you haven’t said it out loud before try it and see how he reciprocates His love immediately. God appreciates and adores when His children express love through spoken words. Just recall how good it makes you feel when that person you love, admire and respect says “I LOVE YOU”. You might already know how that person feels but to have that person re-affirm their feelings is an exquisite thing.
The expression of love is such a wonderful thing. God wants to teach us how to love from the source, which He is the source of all love. Once we have a foundation of love within us, which He is the source, we will be as a well that never runs dry. Our ability to love others unselfishly will bring us great joy, strength, and happiness. God is Love. This scripture has become alive in my life and I have now lived it. God has loved me, taught me to love myself, love others, and return unto him a supernatural love that surpasses all comprehension. I am in God’s perfect symphony and he is the ultimate composer of life.
1 John 4:7-21:7Beloved, let us love one another, for love is (springs) from God; and he who loves [his fellowmen] is begotten (born) of God and is coming [progressively] to know and understand God [to perceive and recognize and get a better and clearer knowledge of Him].
8He who does not love has not become acquainted with God [does not and never did know Him], for God is love.
9In this the love of God was made manifest (displayed) where we are concerned: in that God sent His Son, the only begotten or [a] unique [Son], into the world so that we might live through Him.
Mustard Seed Faith (Summer 2006)
Today I was up at 6:30 a.m. I decided to try something I have wanted to do for years. If you have kept up with me lately you must know how I have decided to take on the sport of running. Running the 4 miles today was not new to me. The goal that I accomplished today was running with a real running club. It was so wonderful to push myself like never before. I can do the distance (I am now up to 6 miles and I’m training for a half marathon 13.1 miles) but for me the issue has been time. I was able to run 4 miles today at a pace to keep up with other runners in the running club. I am so proud of myself. Today will be recorded in my mind for life. I woke up on a Saturday morning at 5:30 am to run 4 miles in the heat and humidity. It was tough, I felt sweaty and tired but I did it. Yeah I could chose to focus on how I was in the last pace group within the running club or I could continue to focus on the positive. I got up at a time when so many others are in bed. I did something I didn’t have to do. I really have grown to love running as a sport and I am so happy that I can take it with me wherever I go. It is a social sport that seems to have its own code. Out on those trails we all support and motivate one another. Its funny because I never thought one of my biggest fears would become one of my favorite hobbies. I am now an official member of The Bethesda Rebel Runners. I even have the t-shirt. So why am I telling you this you might ask? I just want you to know that whatever your obstacles may be you can overcome them. You can do anything you set your mind to doing. All things are possible if you believe you can achieve them. Learn to embrace your fears; you will be so happy when the things you feared the most start to push you toward your biggest goals.
Mark 9:23:23And Jesus said, [You say to Me], If You can do anything? [Why,] all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
Matthew 17:20:20He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of [a] firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [[b] that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
Mark 9:23:23And Jesus said, [You say to Me], If You can do anything? [Why,] all things can be (are possible) to him who believes!
Matthew 17:20:20He said to them, Because of the littleness of your faith [that is, your lack of [a] firmly relying trust]. For truly I say to you, if you have faith [[b] that is living] like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, Move from here to yonder place, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.
Love and Manipulation
How can one actually love you if their goal is manipulation?
Manipulation destroys love.
Another word for manipulation is deception.
In deception intentions are never clear giving up the hope for true love.Love comes when manipulations stops.
It is when one is open to revealing their true self and intentions.
Love is when one opens up themselves to venerability.
Manipulation destroys love.
Another word for manipulation is deception.
In deception intentions are never clear giving up the hope for true love.Love comes when manipulations stops.
It is when one is open to revealing their true self and intentions.
Love is when one opens up themselves to venerability.
Facing My Fears
Well, today was something. My workout was harder than I could ever imagine. I started this thing called the Sergeant’s Program and I am getting results. It is an intensive 1-hour session of jogging and calisthenics designed to strengthen all major muscle groups and increase your cardiovascular capacity. These Boot Camp classes are held five days a week, morning or afternoon, Monday through Friday. Daily we focus on jogging, doing push ups, lifting weights and more. It's mad difficult but I have seen major results. Today we pushed picnic tables through the park grass, ran a couple miles, and did major lower bodywork between stops on the run. (AWWWWWWWWWWW!) It's funny every time I work out with the instructor it seems so painful but when I finish it is such a sense of tremendous accomplishment. After doing this program for 1 month I have lost 10 pounds! I have also built myself up to run 5 miles without stopping it is a wonderful feeling. It is like nothing I have ever done in my life. Now I truly see why people love running. It used to be my biggest fear, now I take it head on. Every time I run and meet my goal it seems as though I am more motivated to push towards my life long goals. I think my running is an outward display of my determination on the inside. I have made this a part of my lifestyle and it is something that I can take with me for the rest of my life no matter where I go. I no longer can make excuses if I don't have a gym membership. I have gotten used to using things around me to get the best workouts ever. Tricep dips on park benches, lunges in the grass, squats on the side of the road. It's great to take on the world each day. At first I used to think about being the last person in class. Now I think about how many people don't wake up at 5am to run sprints, do push-ups, jumping jacks act. I have the discipline to do what many do not. That means a lot to me. I know with this kind of courage on the inside I can face all of my fears on the outside.
Notes From the Trail (December 2006)
Well, it is week 12 and I am approaching the end of my in Barcelona Spain। As I moved through my time here I continued to tell every one of my tremendous growth as well as my wonderful experiences. None of that has changed but at the same time so many other things have changed in my life. I don’t want to be confusing but I found myself praying to God and saying “God, how can I lose myself and find myself at the same time? This entire experience has been totally mystifying to me. Not only am I saying that I am a changed person but I move from day to day and see the tremendous changes within me. It is so crazy that I had so much mapped out and now…॥ I am not so sure about the things I was so sure about before. I am wondering if this is something I will experience more when I return to the United States. Lots of people are nearing their stay here and honestly starting to act out of character….or was it their character to begin with? I really don’t know but this last few weeks instead of being a blast is somewhat becoming a drag. The weirdest feelings have been coming over me and I can’t get around them. Yes I am sad that I am leaving but I am not going be afraid to face the next stage in my life. People here keep asking me over and over am I going to be sad when I leave. I know I will miss some of the people here but honestly the people who really attempted to be a friend I know I will remain in contact with. So right now I welcome the challenges, growth, transition and uncertainty in this in journey called life.It seems the more I look around the more I realize that many people worldwide fail to want a life filled with substance, love and significance. That is sad. I honestly wonder how many people plan on soaking up this experience and keeping growth and valued lessons close to their hearts? I think I made some friends but not as many as I had hoped. It is so sad that finding real friends these days is like shopping in the clearance bin at Marshalls. There is a bunch of stuff that seems appealing until you turn it inside out and find out it is defective. The more exposure I have to individuals the more I see that people rather carry out their own agenda rather than develop something real with the ones they say they are close to.Honestly I think people are afraid to exit this party feel good atmosphere and are freaking out because real life once again is knocking on their door. I honestly am curious and excited for the new chapter of life. That is when I have to sit and be thankful for my spiritual guidance and maturity because there are some that never reach this point. So I am wrapping it up and I will close these notes from the trail by saying “live life to the fullest and take advantage of your full potential. Try your best to experience the richness of life by seeking things, and people filled with substance. Welcome change and hold on dearly to the significant things and moments in life. That is my life’s’ goal.
Love Yanice
Notes From the Trail (Decemver 2006)
It has been rough for me lately because the holidays are near. The other day was Thanksgiving and it was very difficult not being with my family that day. It is great here but I am now through the honeymoon stage. All of the newness and excitement has died down and it has been tough. In the beginning I was raving about all of the great things in Europe now I can't help to think about the greatness of the United States. It is not a bad place to live. It is true that I don't feel the normal pressures of the American society but at times I feel like such an outsider in this place. My communication skills are great for someone that has only lived here for 2 months (give or take) and studied Spanish 10 years ago but, there is still a barrier. I would compare my vocabulary to that of a 6 year old. Like I said that is great considering the time I have been here but for a person that heavily relies on their communication skills it is tough not being able to thoroughly express themselves. I am sure I could make lots of Spanish friends if I could find the right words to say. That language barrier is tough. This entire experience is tough but I know I am so much stronger because of it. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself as well as others. I have also had some time to think about life overall and reevaluate some things. On a more positive note I am very happy that I have learned to submerge myself in fun again. I have been having a great time and doing lots of the things I only dreamed about doing. This has been an experience of a lifetime and I know I am very fortunate to have had this opportunity. I know lots of people don't even move away from their hometown let alone their country. I am glad I have taken this chance and decided to put my courage and strength to the test. I know this is a long blog and I hope that you find the time to read it. I wrote this to say thanks to everyone who has supported me. I also wrote this for myself because I know that I am going to have to read this when I am trying to adjust back to life in the United States. It will be important for me to reflect on my experiences here.
Notes From the Trail (October 2006)
Well I am in the third month of my stay in Barcelona and it sure has been great. How many times in life do you get to say you visited several different countries in a matter of months? During my stay here I couldn't have asked for more. I know for sure that I was meant to be here. Just the mere feeling of expanding my world 10 times over has been abundant. My cup runneth over, but that's a good thing.One of my experiences that stand out in my mind is my trip to Paris France. The only word I can use to describe the trip is phenomenal. I have dreamed of going to this place for years and my visit there was a dream becoming reality. It is so great because it was last minute and worked out great. I had a great traveling companion that enhanced an already great experience. I only had the opportunity to stay for a weekend but in that time I had a chance to examine an abundance of things.When I landed in Paris right away I felt vulnerable like never before. This was not like Spain. I know approximately 10 words and French and I was so nervous at the time that I could not recall them when I needed to. I had planned on my travel companion's knowledge of French but I quickly came to learn that his beginning French would not get us as far as I hoped it would. I didn't know how to tell the taxi driver where to go or how to understand the total for the ride. Even something as simple as ordering dinner seemed to be a difficult task. My first instinct told me to speak Spanish. For some reason I felt better showing the French that I was an American that knew a language other than English. At those moments I realized the value of my Spanish and started to appreciate it even more.
Even though I did not speak French I noticed that most of the French were considerate enough to speak English to me. I was very appreciative for this. More of the French were willing to speak English to me than the Spanish spoke to me in Spain yet the French still did not seem as warm as the Spanish. The way the French accommodated me quickly led me to question the whole French rudeness stereotype. Maybe I was not there long enough to truly put it to the test, but I thought they were very nice considering I didn't speak the language. As I traveled throughout Paris rude was definitely not the word that came to mind. As I spoke and mingled with the French the first word that came to my mind was pride. I would say the French represent their culture and nationality with pride. They seemed to be very sophisticated and at the same time their physical appearance was stunning. The people there looked very exotic and moved at a fast pace.Overall the city was beautiful. I automatically fell in love. I like to travel but seeing sights is not something I can usually do for hours at a time without getting bored. This was not at all the case in Paris. It was breathtaking. I will never forget the moment my friend and I saw the Eiffel Tower. It was amazing and stunning all at once. We both agreed as we approached this awesome site that this structure seemed to have a personality. Somehow we were both caught by surprise when we looked at saw it boldly standing not very far from us. Somehow it was very humbling for the both of us. This site made us realize how small we are compared to so much in this world. The site was even better was even better at night to our surprise. We managed to walk through so much of the city that we made a complete circle without even realizing it during our journey to the perfect dinner spot.
So once again I will say phenomenal. This is the word that I will use to describe my dream trip to Paris. The city, the culture, the sites, the food, the people, the beauty, my traveling companion, my growth, the entire experience truly phenomenal!!!
Even though I did not speak French I noticed that most of the French were considerate enough to speak English to me. I was very appreciative for this. More of the French were willing to speak English to me than the Spanish spoke to me in Spain yet the French still did not seem as warm as the Spanish. The way the French accommodated me quickly led me to question the whole French rudeness stereotype. Maybe I was not there long enough to truly put it to the test, but I thought they were very nice considering I didn't speak the language. As I traveled throughout Paris rude was definitely not the word that came to mind. As I spoke and mingled with the French the first word that came to my mind was pride. I would say the French represent their culture and nationality with pride. They seemed to be very sophisticated and at the same time their physical appearance was stunning. The people there looked very exotic and moved at a fast pace.Overall the city was beautiful. I automatically fell in love. I like to travel but seeing sights is not something I can usually do for hours at a time without getting bored. This was not at all the case in Paris. It was breathtaking. I will never forget the moment my friend and I saw the Eiffel Tower. It was amazing and stunning all at once. We both agreed as we approached this awesome site that this structure seemed to have a personality. Somehow we were both caught by surprise when we looked at saw it boldly standing not very far from us. Somehow it was very humbling for the both of us. This site made us realize how small we are compared to so much in this world. The site was even better was even better at night to our surprise. We managed to walk through so much of the city that we made a complete circle without even realizing it during our journey to the perfect dinner spot.
So once again I will say phenomenal. This is the word that I will use to describe my dream trip to Paris. The city, the culture, the sites, the food, the people, the beauty, my traveling companion, my growth, the entire experience truly phenomenal!!!
Shine On
As I travel from season to season in my life I am very grateful for the many experiences and life lessons. When I reflect back it seems the more that time passes by, the more I learn to love. I truly want to embrace all aspects of life as well as love. Just the thought of living life and the fullness there in brings me joy. I now am on a mission to grow and develop those many gift and talents that I have inside of me. Growth and change would be a very difficult thing to accept had I chosen to focus on the negative things around me. Sometimes it hurts when I look back at all the countless years I spent worrying about things that were insignificant. I spent way too much time magnifying my problems instead of magnifying God for my blessings. At times my actions would cause me tremendous pain and lead me to stand in my own way. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that the time that I have on earth is very precious. I am here to fulfill my destiny. I know that my life is significant and is filled with purpose. I honestly feel that God took me through many tribulations so I could realize this. Some of the things I went through in life could have been prevented had I trusted that still small voice on the inside of me. Some people call it a conscience, some call it sixth sense, but I call it my spirit. I had to learn not to listen to my heart yet listen to my spirit. I learned that listening to my spirit led me to growth and great wisdom.
Choosing to grow and carry ones-self higher is not easy task. To achieve growth one has to be willing to stand apart from the crowd. Walking alone is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes the things that are the best for us are not always going to be comfortable. Going after true dreams and desires will definitely pull one out of their comfort zone. Some realize their dreams and life purpose but are too afraid to act on them. Walking alone and facing your fears is what separates the weak from the strong. Those that choose to walk alone at times are true leaders. True leaders are hard to find. Life leaders find the best way to pull their inner courage out for everyone to see.
So what is hidden deep within you? What is that trait, gift, or characteristic that you have hidden from the world? We all need to find the courage to bring our inner beauty out. This is what makes life beautiful. This is how we learn to embrace all aspects of life and love. I have chosen to magnify beauty, the beauty in the word and the beauty within me. This is my life’s purpose.
As time passes I strive harder and harder to have a peaceful and loving life. I have learned that peace comes from trying your hardest to make the right decisions in life and doing away with those thing that are not good for us. The older I get the more I have come to realize just how important it is to fulfill my true destiny. I am the happiest when I am actively working towards my dreams and goals. Don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from living out your destiny. Trust that the world will be a better place if you live life the way that is was intended for you to live it. Well if you don’t trust me just ask the Father.
Matthew 5:14-16:14You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.
15Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house.
16Let your light so shine before men that they may see your [a] moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and [b] recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.
Choosing to grow and carry ones-self higher is not easy task. To achieve growth one has to be willing to stand apart from the crowd. Walking alone is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes the things that are the best for us are not always going to be comfortable. Going after true dreams and desires will definitely pull one out of their comfort zone. Some realize their dreams and life purpose but are too afraid to act on them. Walking alone and facing your fears is what separates the weak from the strong. Those that choose to walk alone at times are true leaders. True leaders are hard to find. Life leaders find the best way to pull their inner courage out for everyone to see.
So what is hidden deep within you? What is that trait, gift, or characteristic that you have hidden from the world? We all need to find the courage to bring our inner beauty out. This is what makes life beautiful. This is how we learn to embrace all aspects of life and love. I have chosen to magnify beauty, the beauty in the word and the beauty within me. This is my life’s purpose.
As time passes I strive harder and harder to have a peaceful and loving life. I have learned that peace comes from trying your hardest to make the right decisions in life and doing away with those thing that are not good for us. The older I get the more I have come to realize just how important it is to fulfill my true destiny. I am the happiest when I am actively working towards my dreams and goals. Don’t ever let anyone or anything keep you from living out your destiny. Trust that the world will be a better place if you live life the way that is was intended for you to live it. Well if you don’t trust me just ask the Father.
Matthew 5:14-16:14You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.
15Nor do men light a lamp and put it under a peck measure, but on a lamp stand, and it gives light to all in the house.
16Let your light so shine before men that they may see your [a] moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and [b] recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.
Seeing Yourself Through God's Eyes
What is your idea of the perfect person? For as long as I can remember I looked up to lots of people I saw on the tube. When I younger I sometimes longed to be the people on the music videos and television shows. I would catch myself at times saying, “Wow, their life seems so glamorous. What I wouldn’t give to live their lives. I wish I looked just like them. If I had a body like that everyone would love me.” I guess at that time I did not realize the key word that I used in those phrases. Seems. Everything seemed great on the surface but I had no idea of the types of lifestyles these people were really living. The main things I retained were the messages I heard on television about beauty, and size. All I was able to see was what the people in TV land wanted me to see. Things such as character and integrity were not an issue when in actuality those were the things that were most important.
I grew up with my weight always being a major issue to me and now when I look back I wish I wouldn’t have put so much energy into changing my exterior to be pleasing to others. It is such a sad thing when young people are bombarded with messages that make them feel as though they never are good enough. They can continually lose weight or do things to change their physical appearance but it never seems to be enough. This can be such a stronghold in people’s lives. For example, one day I was riding in the car with a dear friend of mine although I still struggle with this issue something a dear friend of mine said to me really helped to re-evaluate who I really am. We were chatting and I was telling him how much I wanted to be a size 8. After saying that he followed by telling me “You know Yanice lots of people that are that size are still not happy. You should just focus on being the best Yanice you can be and that is the important thing” From that day on I really did make more of an effort to focus on being the best me I could be.
Yes it is very difficult to focus on the inside first living in a society that is so driven by appearance but I know it is possible. I know that true beauty lies within. Just think about it, there are so many people in this world that are attractive but are not beautiful. Beauty is an inside characteristic that shines brightly and flows to the outside. True beauty is being able to move people just by being whom God made you. One thing I asked God to help me with is seeing myself the ways he sees me. That is wonderful thing. I mean think about it no two people are the same. If we learn to see ourselves they way God sees us than many of the issues we have with our appearance will fade away. Furthermore whoever God intends to be a significant part of our life will also see us through God’s eyes. Don’t beat yourself up trying to compete with others far as appearance goes. Compete with yourself and strive to be the best person you can be. You are good and keep in mind that God never makes mistakes.
Genesis 1:31:And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.
I grew up with my weight always being a major issue to me and now when I look back I wish I wouldn’t have put so much energy into changing my exterior to be pleasing to others. It is such a sad thing when young people are bombarded with messages that make them feel as though they never are good enough. They can continually lose weight or do things to change their physical appearance but it never seems to be enough. This can be such a stronghold in people’s lives. For example, one day I was riding in the car with a dear friend of mine although I still struggle with this issue something a dear friend of mine said to me really helped to re-evaluate who I really am. We were chatting and I was telling him how much I wanted to be a size 8. After saying that he followed by telling me “You know Yanice lots of people that are that size are still not happy. You should just focus on being the best Yanice you can be and that is the important thing” From that day on I really did make more of an effort to focus on being the best me I could be.
Yes it is very difficult to focus on the inside first living in a society that is so driven by appearance but I know it is possible. I know that true beauty lies within. Just think about it, there are so many people in this world that are attractive but are not beautiful. Beauty is an inside characteristic that shines brightly and flows to the outside. True beauty is being able to move people just by being whom God made you. One thing I asked God to help me with is seeing myself the ways he sees me. That is wonderful thing. I mean think about it no two people are the same. If we learn to see ourselves they way God sees us than many of the issues we have with our appearance will fade away. Furthermore whoever God intends to be a significant part of our life will also see us through God’s eyes. Don’t beat yourself up trying to compete with others far as appearance goes. Compete with yourself and strive to be the best person you can be. You are good and keep in mind that God never makes mistakes.
Genesis 1:31:And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Spring Cleaning
How do you know when to release something that you have outgrown? This can be a tough question to answer especially if you have grown comfortable with that thing no matter what it may be. This thing can be a place, outfit, television show or relationship. The list goes on and own. When I reflect back I can recall holding on to things that did not benefit me. I must have asked myself a million times "Is this really good for me? What I am getting out of this when I can no longer be me while holding on to this?
One of the things I recently had to let go was a friendship. There was a person that I was friends with for many years. We had great times together. There were also times throughout our friendship when we might have lost touch for different reasons but later crossed paths again. In the beginning the friendship was typical of most pre-teen friendships. We liked watching television and talking about how we were totally in love with the people in Hollywood. So what happens when MTV and Bubble Gum Music is no longer enough to sustain a friendship? Time started to march on I started to see how vastly different we were. Now don't get me wrong I do believe you can be friends with someone from a different background but the beauty of that is admitting your differences and then moving forward despite of.
I started to be agreeable on many things just to avoid arguments. We had differences from A-Z. Sometimes this person would bash certain opinions and things that I embraced and I didn't disagree. I thought that it was OK just to sit back and not share what I thought. I figured as long as I didn't say anything about the the subject at hand I wasn't lying but in fact I was. I was lying to myself for thinking that I could continue something that was not true.
As time went on I realized I was gaining so many new experiences and memories and the only thing that we could really talk about openly were our past experiences. Teeny bopper music and MTV just wasn't cutting anymore. Now don't get me wrong it was really great to reminisce but I felt as though we were not growing together as friends. Our lifestyles were totally different. The more time passed, the less me I shared with them. I had to admit to myself the friendship was not growing. Everything else about me seemed to be excelling but I felt I was 13 years old in this friendship. I knew that I was not being true to myself or the other person if I did not end this friendship.
Over and over I asked myself why should I stop being their friend if it is not hurting me? We were not arguing and we seemed to be on pretty good terms. But the problem with continuing in this type of situation is that is that it will cause drama and can cause emotional scars if it is left lingering. I allowed to to get to a point where it did end on bad terms. The time came when I did need a friend. I was going through some very challenging times and decided to share some personal things with this person. After sharing those things I really regretted my decision. After that feeling of regret crossed my mind I said to myself "If I cannot be 100% me than why do I continue with this?" Harsh words were exchanged between us several times before I finally decided to end the friendship. I made a difficult decision but I know it was the best for me. To this very day I still think about this friendship but I could not continue to be in something was was not fruitful. I am not angry at that person and of course I still care about them but I do know I am better being 100% Yanice. I shouldn't alter or change that for anyone. Especially the people that are closest to me.
Is it a ad thing when you outgrow your friends? Well of course not. Life is soemthing that should be coanstly evolving. It is part of the lifecycle. It is a reality that as we grow and change so do the people in our lifes. It is ok to admit differences and move forward with that still holding a special place in your heart for that person. Although letting go of the past can be painful you have a right to surround yourself with those who understand you and the person you have grown to be.
So I think we all have to do spring cleaning at one time or another. Look into your closet. Take inventory. As you explore the closet called life ask yourself is this outfit flattering, is it too big for me? Have I outgrown it. Will I work on fitting it again one day? Do I plan on wearing this?. After answering these questions for yourself you will then know what to throw away and what to keep.